A Result of Destiny

Random Thoughts For 2008

2008-01-06T15:30:00.000-06:00

10: Life is sexually transmitted.

9: Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

8: Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

7: Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

6: Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

5: Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

4: All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

3: Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $0.30?

2: In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

1: We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't got a clue as to where terrorists (Osama) are located?!

Happy New Year!

Two Months

2007-12-09T16:00:00.000-06:00

Yes, I know that I'm a bad blogger.
Someone recently pointed out to me that today would be two months since I've posted anything. Not that John Lennon is a bad thing to have to put up with for a while though.
So, this is me posting something, anything.
New music videos will be up this week in case anyone out there cares.

Happy Birthday John Lennon

2007-10-09T13:00:00.000-05:00

I Believe You Have My Stapler

2007-10-08T20:00:00.000-05:00

Todays Monday Movie Moment is brought to you by:
Office Space

Peter.

Michael.

What the hell’s going on, man?
I thought you were gonna come in here and start shooting.

No. I just came to get my address book.
I’m not gonna stay.
I got a phone number, Mike, that I don’t wanna lose.

What?
Peter, you’re in deep shit.
You were supposed to come in on Saturday.
What were you doing?

Michael, I did nothing.
I did absolutely nothing…
and it was everything that I thought it could be.

Well, I hope you have a better story than that for Lumbergh.
You know you’re supposed to be having your interview right now with the consultants.

The who?

The consultants.
What has gotten into you?

Oh, yeah… right.

Wait, Peter. Peter. You gotta postpone it, man.
Tell ‘em you’ve been sick. Make something up.

Oh, no way. No, I feel great.
It’s the best day of my life.

Next batter looks like a Peter Gibbons.

Uh-huh.

Ah, there you are.
We were just talking about you.
You must be Peter Gibbons.
Uh-huh. Terrific.
I’m Bob Slydell.
This is my associate Bob Porter.

Oh, hi, Bob. Bob.

Why don’t you go ahead and grab a seat and join us for a minute or two.
You see, what we’re actually trying to do here…
is were just, we’re trying to get a feel…
for how people spend their day at work.
So if you would…
would you walk us through a typical day for you?

Yeah.

Great.

Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late.
Uh, I use the side door.
That way Lumbergh can’t see me.
And after that, I just sort of space out for about an hour.

Uh. “space out”?

Yeah.
I just stare at my desk.
But it looks like I’m working.
I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too.
I’d say in a given week…
I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual work.

Um, Peter, would you be a good sport…
and indulge us and just…
tell us a little more?

Oh, yeah.
Let me tell you something about TPS reports.
Ahh…
.....
The thing is, Bob, it’s not that I’m lazy.
It’s that I just don’t care.

Don’t… don’t care?

It’s a problem of motivation, all right?
Now, if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units…
I don’t see another dime.
So, where’s the motivation?
And here’s something else, Bob…
I have eight different bosses right now.

I beg your pardon?

Eight bosses.

Eight?

Eight, Bob.
So that means that when I make a mistake…
I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it.
That’s my only real motivation, is to not be hassled.
That and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob…
that’ll only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.

Would you bear with me for just a second, please?

OK.

What if - - and believe me… this is strictly hypothetical - -
but what if you were offered some kind of a stock option equity-sharing program?
Would that do anything for you?

I don’t know. I guess.
Listen, I’m gonna go.
Uh, it’s been really nice talking to both of you guys.

Yes.

Absolutely.
The pleasure’s all on this side of the table, trust me.

Good luck with your layoffs, all right?
I hope your firings go really well.

OK. Thanks a lot.

Great. Wow.

I'm A Thief

2007-09-23T15:30:00.000-05:00

I stole this from SamuraiFrog who stole it from Byzantium's Shores who doesn't know why questions 8, 15, 34, 39, 40, 41, and 49 are missing.

1. You have $5 and need to buy snacks at a gas station. What do you buy?
Chips of some kind, some chocolate to balance out the salt from the chips, and because I’m health conscious, a diet Dr. Pepper to wash it down with.

2. If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you want to be?
A dolphin. They’re beautiful, they’re graceful, and other than human beings, they’re the only other mammal who have sex for recreational purposes.
3. Who's your favorite redhead?
I have no freaking idea.

4. What do you order when you're at IHOP?
I love the Country Omelet (no onions), but my favorite are those Stuffed Crepes that they have about once a year. An omelet wrapped in a crepe covered in cheese and sour cream, yum. Damn it. Now I want one.

5. Last book you read?
I’m re-reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I forgot how wonderfully detailed the books were.

6. Describe your favorite pair of underwear.
Boy shorts. They’re comfortable and sexy.
7. Describe the last time you were injured.
I’m accident prone these days. Just yesterday while I was at the store, I somehow managed to jab my thumb into an end cap display that bent my nail from the middle of my nail bed. Hurt like a mo’fo, but, and this is the important part, I didn’t break my nail.

9. Rock concert or symphony?
Depends on my mood I guess. Could it be a rock symphony concert?

10. What is the wallpaper of your mobile phone?
View of a sunset from a bridge.

11. Favorite drink?
Can’t say that I have one. I rarely drunk, I mean drink.

12. What type of top/tee shirt are you wearing?
A pink striped polo.

13. If you could only use one form of transportation for the rest of your life what would it be?
Oh I can think of a lot of cars that I would love to have one day, but seeing as how this would be my only option for life, I’d have to go with a helicopter. You can land them just about anywhere and I wouldn’t be limited by those pesky roads.

14. Most recent movie you've watched at the movies?
Ocean’s Thirteen

16. What's your favorite kind of cake?
Oh man, that’s an unfair question. So many. A simple all time favorite of mine would be a strawberry cake with cream cheese frosting.

17. What did you have for dinner last night?
I had a gordita stuffed with ground meat, sour cream, lettuce, avocado and queso fresco with beans on the side from Los Jaliscienses. So good.

18. Look to your right what do you see?
My baby, my German Shepherd. She’s taking a nap.

19. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
I don’t have any shoes with laces on them right now, not even my tennis shoes.

20. Favorite toy as a child?
I can’t recall any specific toy, but I do remember that I loved playing in my faux kitchen. It had a working refrigerator that I would keep my food in. It even dispensed ice and water! I would give everyone water from there. I thought it was so cool.

21. Do you buy your own food?
Of course. I’m very picky.

22. Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
Doesn’t everyone? Good or bad, we all do it some point. We really shouldn’t, but it’s just part of our human nature to talk about other people.

23. When's the last time you had a sour gummy worm?
Never. I don’t really like sour candy cause, isn’t candy supposed to be uh, sweet?!

24. What's your favorite fruit?
I love cold crisp apples.

25. Do you have a picture of yourself doing a cartwheel?
Yes, I actually do. It was from high school. Of course I was a cheerleader at the time.

26. Have you ever eaten snow?
Does melted snow count? My dad and I went mountain hiking in Colorado on a family vacation and came across a small cave. It had a stream running through it. It was really beautiful.

27. What color are your bedsheets?
A mixture of purples.

28. What's your mom's favorite flower?
I have no idea. She has a flower garden full of just about everything. She loves all flowers in general.

29. Do you listen to classical music?
Of course! Don’t you? Classical music has a way of finding your soul.

30. Do you have a "wacky noodle"?
What the freak is a “wacky noodle”? If it does neat tricks, then I just might have to order one… just so long as it comes in that discreet plain brown paper packaging. Heh.

31. Do you watch Spongebob?
Nope, never have. I used to work with a guy who was a total spaz that we nicknamed Spongebob square-hair. Does that count? He did provide lots of comic relief for us at work. (This is a prime example of #22)

32. Last food you ate?
I made some breakfast quesadillas this morning that were awesome!

33. Do people consider you intelligent?
How dare you question my intellect! I have had some of the finest edumacation that this country has to offer!

35. Is your away message on?
No. If I can’t or don’t want to talk to you, I’ll tell you.

36. Have you ever tried gluing your fingers together?
Well, geez, it’s only like a requirement of being a kid!

37. What curse word do you use the most?
I’m pretty foul-mouthed at times. I’d say that I use shit and fuck just about equally.

38. What time is your alarm clock set for?
I use the alarm clock on my cell phone and at the moment it is set for 5:45 a.m.

42. What CD is currently in your CD player?
The Cure’s Mixed Up album.

43. What movie do you know every line to?
Almost every movie that I own. When I was a teenager I used to drive my dad crazy by watching The Breakfast Club every single time it came on cable. He didn’t know why I watched it when I could say the lines along with them.

44. What is your favorite salad dressing?
Can’t say that I have one. I tend to like vinaigrette's more than the heavier cream dressings that are more popular.

45. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
I have tattoos myself, so does that answer your question?

46. Do you sleep in the same bed with your pets?
No, my dog has her own bed. She only jumps into bed with me when there’s a bad storm outside.

47. Do you enjoy giving hugs?
Absolutely! Full on, no space in between body hugs are the best!

48. What part of your name do people mispronounce?
My last name. It’s Spanish, and it has double R’s. No one can ever get the tongue rolling just right.

50. If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name?
What do you mean? Don’t you know who I am?

Friday Comics Commentary

2007-09-14T12:30:00.000-05:00

It's been two years since we've "seen" Osama
and in true American superficial form, all we can talk about is his dye job...
...shouldn't we be more concerned *cough* U.S. Intelligence *cough* in finding out where this ever elusive (by your definitions) asshole is? Hey, here's a hint: every electronic device sends out a signal. How about trying to track where that signal is coming from, huh?

And in this corner we have a pile of bullshit!
I have to say that that was some clever
non-committal, forced double talk.
Still looks like a bunch of bullshit to me.

Speaking of bullshit...
It appears that brain-dead zombies do in fact exist.
And while they are at the moment non-threatening,
their one goal may prove to be highly disastrous in the end.

If Only...

2007-09-13T11:30:00.000-05:00

While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a bottle
on the sand & picked it up.

Suddenly, a female Genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said,
'Master, may I grant you one wish?'

Osama responded, 'You ignorant, unworthy Daughter-of-a-dog!
Don't you know who I am? I don't need any common woman giving me anything.'

The shocked Genie said, 'Please, I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to that bottle forever.'

Osama thought a moment, then grumbled about the impertinence of the woman and said, 'Very well, I want to awaken with three American women in my bed in the morning.
So just do it and be off with you.'

The annoyed Genie said, 'So be it!' and disappeared.

The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton* at his side.

His penis was gone,
his knees were broken,
and he had no health insurance.

*Not that I want her in office, but it's just funny with her as part of this joke.

Forever Princess

2007-08-31T14:00:00.000-05:00

Diana Frances Spencer
1 July 1961-31 August 1997

Princess Diana Speaks Out
The 1995 BBC Interview

Michael Vick

2007-08-24T14:00:00.000-05:00

New Chemical Element

2007-08-20T11:00:00.000-05:00

The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Governmentium (Gv).
Governmentium has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons,
giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert;
however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to over four days to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's Mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium,
an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

The Meme Of Four

2007-08-17T14:35:00.000-05:00

SamuraiFrog tagged me with this week. After careful removal of the tag and some recovery time, I'm now ready to answer.
Four jobs I've had or currently have in my life:
1. First job that I ever had was working at Wal-Mart. Despite the horrible reputation that they now have as employers, I had fun. It was my high school job and by the end, a lot of my friends were working there with me.
2. I've worked for AT&T. Boring. It was a call center customer service job.
3. American Express. It was sort of fun. I worked in the Membership Rewards program and got to talk to lots of celebrities. It made me laugh to think that they would even care about getting free goodies.
4. My current job is exciting and frustrating, but if I told you anymore about it, I might be ordered to kill you... heh, heh.

Four countries I have been to:
1. Does Mexico count? The border is non-existent at this point.
2. I've been to Spain. Absolutely beautiful.
3. I've been to France.
4. And Iraq.

Four places I'd rather be right now:
1. Relocated to my office in Chicago.
2. Relaxing anywhere with my Corazon.
3. Manhattan
4. A private beach.

Four foods I like to eat:
1. Frozen Red Grapes. Try it.
2. Sour Cream Chicken Enchiladas.
3. Tilapia,. It's fish (in case you didn't know).
4. Cereal. Almost any kind. Even as a snack without any milk.

Four personal heroes, past or present:
1. Alexandre Dumas. Historically accurate or not, his books turned me onto reading at a very young age.
2. William Shakespeare. How can you not love a functioning addict who so elegantly and disturbingly penned his chaotic thoughts?
3. Galileo Galilei. His desire to improve upon Lipperhey's optical instrument is what allowed us to see beyond our own reach.
4. My grandmother. I would not be the person I am today without her.

Four books you've just read or are currently reading.
I haven't had as much free time to read lately and I am very sad about that because I do love getting involved in a good book. I recently cleaned out my closet, getting rid of things that I no longer use and came across some books that I decided to re-read while going to bed.
1. Angels and Demons by Dan Brown
2. The Night Crew by John Sandford
3. Mortal Prey by John Sandford
4. Fiasco by Thomas E. Ricks - New book that I just started.

*New Question* Riddle me this:
If you could spend one day with POTUS, what would you do?
1. Me, personally, I'd knock that little shit-grinning idiot the fuck out!
2. I'd duct-tape him and his mouth to a chair.
3. Happily sign his name to all of the Bills he refuses to acknowledge.
4. Shave his head and make him spend one week in Iraq.

Due to rule changing somewhere along the line, here's where you are suppose to add your own new question.

Tag, you're it!
1. BDS
2. NDM
3. Trisha
4. Tumuli

America's Favorite Dancer

2007-08-17T11:25:00.001-05:00

Congratulations Sabra Johnson
Season 3 Winner of So You Think You Can Dance

The Day The Music Died

2007-08-16T17:00:00.000-05:00

Elvis Aaron Presley
January 8, 1935 - August 16, 1977

If you want to get a feel of how Elvis has influenced music lovers through the generations, I suggest that you read SamuraiFrog's beautifully truthful post on the rise and fall of a man who will always be King.

And Then There Were Four

2007-08-14T18:00:00.000-05:00

So You Think You Can Dance
Season 3, Week 8
Results Show

These are the finalists. Tomorrows votes will decide who becomes America's favorite dancer. I have no clue as to who will win. Each of them deserves it. I just can't choose.
They are all great dancers who have proven that they can dance.
Good luck Lacey, Sabra, Danny and Neil!

Bye-bye for now Pasha.
*sigh*

Happy Harry Hardon

2007-08-13T10:30:00.000-05:00

Today's Monday Movie Moment is brought to you by:

Did you ever get the feeling that everything in America is completely fucked up? You know that feeling that the whole country is like one inch away from saying 'That's it, forget it!'
Think about it. Everything's polluted.
The environment, the government, the schools you name it.

Typical Texas Summer

2007-08-13T10:00:00.000-05:00

Thank whatever Gods may be that summer in Texas was delayed a couple of months due to the insane amounts of rain that unfortunately flooded many areas. The down side(other than the flooding) to all of that cool(er) weather is that summer has finally reared it's ugly head and has come back this week with a vengeance to make up for some lost time.
The following can be true of Anywhere, USA, but damn(!), it's especially funny in Texas because it's true.

YOU KNOW IT's SUMMER IN TEXAS WHEN. . . .

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water comes out of both taps.

You can make sun tea instantly.

You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron!

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

You discover that it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 am.

Your greatest fear in an accident is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

Ah . . . what a wonderful place to call home.

Try to stay cool!

I know, I know...
cHEEzy!
But at least I made you smile.

Hell Yes They Can Dance!

2007-08-09T11:25:00.000-05:00

So You Think You Can Dance
Season 3, Week 8

I don't know who kicked who in the ass, but everyone has stepped up their game this week. I loved all six dances last night, even the Disco, which most of the time is pretty cheesy and cornball for my liking. So thank you, choreographers, for making the dancers come up to your level of talent at last.

Each of the three couples performed two dances and then each dancer performed a solo to determine who will make it into the final four.
I know that I want Lacey, Sabra and Pasha in the final show, but I'm completely torn between Danny and Neil (argh!). I've loved Danny from day one. He's beautiful, elegant, graceful and masculine all at the same time, but Neil has come such a long way. He's surprised me the last few weeks. He's the most improved dancer on the show.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy these dances as much as I did:

Lacey and Pasha - Hip Hop and Smooth Waltz
Lacey as a mannequin - AWESOME! And how cute is Pasha as a geeky Hip-Hopper?
Their Smooth Waltz was truly beautiful, but I'm just posting my favorite dances.

Lauren and Danny - Contemporary and Disco
Witness power and speed done with grace, and witness yet again the brilliance of Mia Michaels' choreography.

Sabra and Neil - Jazz and Paso Doble
Power meeting a la 1980's - Yeah, I know, I thought the same thing, but just watch it. The moves, the music - too cool!

There will be no results show tonight, it has been moved to Monday in true television suspense form. So until then - dance like no one is watching!

Voyeur

2007-08-06T15:00:00.000-05:00

Today's Monday Movie Moment is brought to you by:

Back off or I'll throw it where you can't follow.

Take it easy, that's sixty gigs of my life.

Even better.

Okay -- okay --

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

I'm trying to enjoy my party. Wait, that's wrong. According to you, I'm trying to conform.

Could've fooled me.

What does that mean?

Forget --

No, I'm not gonna forget it.

You wanna blend in with that crowd, fine, then stop looking up and trying to get a rise outta me.

So you were watching me. Question is for how long? Just tonight? Or maybe a week? Two weeks? Since I moved in?
And the whole "my-neighbor's-the-killer" thing. Great cover --

It's not a cover --

So what is it, Kale? Huh? What else have you seen?

What else have I seen?

Yeah. What else?

Okay -- I've seen how you always pull your Kleenex from the box in groups of three. Not two, not four, always three. I've seen you're the only one in the world who eats pizza-flavored Pringles. And you never stuff the chips in, you savor each one by dividing it into four precise bites. I didn't know that was even possible. You're also the first girl I've ever seen who spends more time on her roof than in her own house. And what do you do out there? You don't talk on the phone, you don't paint your nails, you read books. Now one would think with the whole numbers thing you've got going on that you'd put them on your shelf alphabetically, but you don't. Your system's much more perfect. The ones you like go on the bottom, the ones you love go in the middle, and the ones you need, the ones you keep going back to... well they go straight to the top next to the dream encyclopedia. You know what all this tells me? You know how things should be. The world according to Ashley. And guess what? It's a very entertaining and beautiful thing. Even when it takes a hit. When you end up in a place like this... when your parents dump their baggage on you, or just... when it seems like those curve balls are never gonna stop -- It sucks, but just so you know -- I get it.
But I've also seen those designer window shades of yours, and guess what? They always go up the next day -- no matter what. And even if no one else has, I've noticed that. And I ain't sorry. The only thing I'll even consider apologizing for is... not dropping the binoculars and telling you this a lot sooner.

That was either the creepiest... or the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

I Love Lucy

2007-08-06T14:30:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday
Lucille Ball August 6, 1911 - April 26, 1989

Funny and Beautiful

Cool Advertising

2007-08-05T15:00:00.000-05:00

Lacey and Neil

2007-08-02T23:30:00.000-05:00

Season 3, Week 7

Absolutely beautiful.
Nothing else needs to be said.

Goodbye to Dominic (there's always the tour...) and Sara (you should have been around for at least one more week).

My thoughts on:
Weeks 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

What The Fuck

2007-07-30T16:30:00.000-05:00

Todays Monday Movie Moment is brought to you by:

Sometimes you gotta say "What the fuck."
Make your move.

That's easy for you to say.
I mean, you're all set. You're probably going to Harvard.
Me, I don't want to make a mistake, jeopardize my future.

Joel, you want to know something?

What?

Every now and then say "What the fuck."
"What the fuck" gives you freedom.
Freedom brings opportunity.
Opportunity makes your future.

So You Think You Can Dance, Season 3

2007-07-26T15:00:00.000-05:00

*Results Update Below*

Week 6

This week starts off with everyone getting new dance partners and some controversy. First off, the dancers. Since the top ten have been named, I will be posting my favorite dances and only critiquing the ones I didn't enjoy. This week it happens to be Dominic and Jaimie and their version of the Viennese Waltz. The choreographer, for some reason, came up with the idea of adding some Spanish flare to this dance (so wrong) and ended up making this beautiful dance look silly along with the dancers.

As for the controversy, it began with the quirky, yet brilliant Mia Michaels and her choice in clothing. On Wednesday's show, Mia was wearing a Marine dress jacket that had upside down emblems on the sleeves. The Marines took offense at this, being a sign of disrespect, and Mia apologized on Thursday's result show. She stated that she had no idea that the emblem was upside down and did not mean to offend anyone. She was simply wearing the jacket for fashion.
I have a right to be offended by this, but wasn't.
I knew that it was just ignorance from the average civilian who has no knowledge of military standards.

The other apology of the evening was given by Nigel Lithgow on behalf of Wade Robson who choreographed the solo's for the top ten dancers. Wade decided that he wanted to make a statement about "Peace, War, Anti-War." I have no problem with that. What bothered me about it was that an apology had to be made at all. Just because someone is against the war, this war, doesn't mean that they do not support our troops.
It is beyond obvious that the mass majority of us who are opposed to this war are so opposed because our troops are being asked to risk their lives every minute of every day.
That being said, I did not like those solo routines. The choreography was good, but the point of a solo dance is being able to see that dancers individuality. I wanted to scream along with the dancers by the end of the show. Ten exact solo's with slight emotional variances all danced to John Mayer's Waiting On The World To Change ... argh!

Anyway, enjoy the videos!

Lauren and Pasha Do Hip Hop

Sabra and Kameron dance Contemporary

Lacey and Danny and a sexy Samba

Sara and Neil Disco Dance

*Results Show*

It's goodbye to Jaimie and Kameron this week.

My thoughts on:
Weeks 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Friday Comics Commentary

2007-07-20T17:00:00.000-05:00

Thank you, Senate, for making me laugh so hard that I choked on my gum.
A bunch of old men who can't even come to terms with each other, and explain to Georgie-boy what the law actually states, is going to pull an all nighter? Yeah, and I've got some ocean front property in Arizona!

It's okay, you think you've worked hard and now deserve a vacation.
Assholes.

Would somebody please stop this man?
You'd have to volunteer of course
because there's no money left to pay you with.

What the freak is going on with our food? I can't turn on the news without there being another story about some sort of "contamination". Seriously though, is it the food that's the problem or is it that Americans immune systems have been shot to hell by the ease of purchasing and eating processed animal fats? We are becoming a weak species and government standards do nothing to help us.

Happy Birthday Robert Rodriguez

2007-07-20T16:00:00.000-05:00

Robert Anthony Rodriguez
July 20, 1968

Happy Birthday you freak!

So You Think You Can Dance, Season 3

2007-07-20T15:25:00.000-05:00

*Results Update Below*

Week 5

This is a big week (Yes, I know I'm late in posting, but what are you gonna do?). The top ten dancers have been decided and starting next week, the judges will no longer have a say in who gets to stay and who goes.

Dominic and Sabra dance the Jive to I Do The Jerk by Ryan Shaw
Love them, loved this dance.
And is it me, or does Dom look like a mini John Leguizamo?

Hok and Jaimie dance a Broadway routine to Mr. Bojangles by Fosse
I think it would have worked out better for Hok if makeup would have done something, anything, to make him look more like an old man. The judges did not enjoy his performance. It’s obvious that Hok will be the male dancer to leaver the show tonight.

Pasha and Sara do Jazz to Body Language by Queen
Pasha is so adorable, I just lub him! And Sara, wow, she was this little gangster tomboy when the show first started and now she’s all hot and sexy. Woo-hoo.
Look at how great they are in this number, and who knew that suspenders could be so fun?

Neil and Lauren do a Contemporary routine to Let The Drummer Kick by Citizen Cope
I absolutely loved this routine. The movement was fabulous and the music was perfect. The judges seemed a bit confused about what the dance was supposed to portray or mean because no explanation was given. For me, that’s what dance is all about. It’s a form of art, and just like a work of art, it is open to interpretation based on how it makes you feel in that moment. This was my favorite dance of the night.

Danny and Anya dance the Foxtrot to It Had To Be You by Brian Evans
I’ve loved them from the beginning and Wednesday night they showed everyone why. I think that this was the best performance they’ve done and that’s saying a lot. Classic and beautifully elegant.

Kameron and Lacey do Hip-Hop to Here I Come by Fergie
This is the first time that I don’t love one of their routines. Lacey was smoking in her little school girl/cheerleader looking outfit and Kameron, well, I think he’ll shine a little more when they start switching partners next week, or at least I hope he will.

*Results Show*

It's goodbye to Hok *sniff* and my lovely Anya *sob*.
I knew that Hok would be leaving this week as he hasn't adapted to the music stylings as well as fellow breakers Dominic and Sara, but I'm still sad to see him go. Anya, my Anya. I thought you would at least make it into the top ten. Поцелуи для моей русской красотки. Я пропущу вас.

My thoughts on:
Week 4
Week 3
Week 2
Week 1

Tasty Condoms

2007-07-18T17:40:00.000-05:00

NEW DELHI - An Indian firm has launched a paan-flavoured condom designed to evoke the pungent taste of the betel nut and tobacco concoction chewed and then spat out.

Hindustan Latex is targeting the new condom at prostitutes, who are among the most vulnerable to sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS. The company ran taste tests with sex workers, including prototypes of chocolate, banana and strawberry flavours.

I guess if anyone, working girls would be the ones who definitely need a product that would cleanse the palate and freshen the breath.
I am sorry to report to all of you out there who don't enjoy the salt of your lover's skin that the condoms will at first be made available only to prostitutes, but will be launched to the general public in a few months.
So until then, throw some sugar around and see what it sticks to *wink* and have some fun licking that off!

For My Sweetie

2007-07-17T01:05:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday, Corazon

Meet Joe Black

2007-07-16T00:00:00.000-05:00

Today’s Monday Movie Moment is brought to you by
human emotions, my human emotions.
Sunday’s, at the present, are my only lazy days.
It’s the one day that I have to myself.
I decided to spend it doing as little as possible,
which included vegging out and watching TV.
There are days when I find a personal connection and meaning in everything around me, even something so mundane as this movie.
Sunday was one of those days.
Be it the relationship between father and daughter
or the possibility of actually being able to say goodbye,
but this movie touched me yesterday (even though I don't particularly like it)
and I think the following scene is a beautiful wish that we should all be so lucky to find and live out the rest of our lives with.

I thought you were in a meeting.

I am. With you.
……………………
Do you love Drew?

There's a start for a meeting.

I know it's none of my business…

No, it's none of your business.

Do you love Drew?

You mean like you loved Mom?

Forget about me and Mom.
Are you going to marry him?

Probably.

Don't get carried away.

Uh oh…

Susan, you're a hell of a woman.
You've got a great career, you're beautiful…

And I'm your daughter and no man will ever be good enough for me.

Well, I wasn't going to say that.

What were you going to say?

Listen, I'm crazy about the guy.
He's smart, he's aggressive, he could carry Parrish Communications into the 21st century and me along with it.

So what's wrong with that?

That's for me. I'm talking about you.
It's not so much what you say about Drew,
it's what you don't say.

You're not listening.

Oh yes, I am.
Not an ounce of excitement, not a whisper of a thrill,
this relationship has all the passion of a pair of titmice.

Don't get dirty, Dad…

Well, it worries me.
I want you to get swept away.
I want you to levitate.
I want you to sing with rapture and dance like a dervish.

That's all?

Be deliriously happy.
Or at least leave yourself open to be.

'Be deliriously happy'.
I'm going to do my… utmost.

I know it's a cornball thing but love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without.
If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with?
I say fall head over heels.
Find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back.
And how do you find him?
Forget your head and listen to your heart.
I'm not hearing any heart.
Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back.
Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this.
To make the journey and not fall deeply in love… well, you haven't lived a life at all.
You have to try.
Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived.

Bravo.

Aw, you're tough.

I'm sorry.
Give it to me again.
The short version.

Stay open.
Who knows?
Lightning could strike.

Friday Comics Commentary

2007-07-13T11:35:00.000-05:00

Claudia Taylor (Lady Bird) Johnson
Lady Bird Johnson's Wildflower Center, The University of Texas at Austin

I just have one thing to say about all of this.
You no good god damn weasel smiling, clueless, heartless, uncaring about the lives of all the outstanding men and women who serve in our armed forces, backwoods illiterate speaking asshole!

Johnny-boy, this is just embarrassing now.
Give it up and realize that denial is an ugly thing.

So You Think You Can Dance, Season 3

2007-07-12T17:00:00.000-05:00

*Results Update Below*

Week 4

Last week the dancers had a break with the 4th of July and let me tell you, oh man, the rest did them go-od! There were so many great dances this week (insert Mary scream here) that I don’t think I could narrow it down to just two favorites.
This week’s show also had some great special guests. The first being guest judge Adam Shankman, choreographer/director and executive producer for this years highly anticipated Hairspray.

First up are the absolutely awesome Lacey and Kameron with the Hustle.
Lacey is such an amazing dancer. She’s so versatile, a true entertainer, and has made every dance style look effortless. Her dance routines are consistently my favorite. I just love her.

Second are Shauna and Cedric dancing the Mambo.
Shauna is a great dancer, but she’s a little easy to overlook at times. The outfit for this number definitely worked for her though. After this dance, my opinion of Cedric has changed. He’s let his guard down, finally, and it shows. There’s an amazing heel toe footwork sequence were you can see that he, for the first time for me anyway, is enjoying this competition

Third up are my Anya and Danny with Contemporary.
They are the most elegant couple in this competition. The dance was beautiful. It tells the story of a woman asking to be forgiven. You can feel the connection and emotions of their relationship through the beauty of this dance.

Fourth up are Sara and Pasha doing West Coast Swing choreographed by current West Coast Swing champion and last years SYTYCD winner Benji with cousin Heidi (the other special guests of the night)!!! I actually screamed with excitement on seeing those two choreographing for the show that gave them a career. Benji, as he always did, stole the spotlight with his quirkiness.
This was Pasha and Sara’s first time dancing together after losing their partners on the last show, and based on this dance… they are going to be one of my favorite couples. Pasha was fantastic! There was so much of Benji in his dancing, and Sara, she is so much more than a B-girl. Oh, I just loved, loved, loved this dance. It was fun, the music was perfect and I got to see Benji and Heidi again!

Fifth to dance were Sabra and Dominic with Hip Hop.
The routine was choreographed by Shane Sparks who surprises me with these amazingly smooth, soft, emotional Hip Hop routines that he does. This was my other favorite dance of the night.

Sixth up were Jaimie and Hok dancing the Waltz.
Eh, I still don’t really like Jaimie. She has great lines and is a beautiful dancer, but I still think she should not be allowed to talk on this show, ever. This wasn’t a great style for Hok, but he’s Hok and I love him.

Seventh and last couple of the night was Lauren and Neil doing Jazz.
I like them more this week. I think it was because of the unique oddness that is Wade Robson choreography. Lauren finally seemed like a dancer instead of a snob who’s been gracing us with her presence and Neil… he finally showed everyone what a great dancer he is. He just became one of my favorite male dancers on this show.

*Results Show*
It's goodbye to Cedric and Shauna this week.
I'm wondering if Debbie Allen is going to make good on her offer to have Cedric enroll in her dance studio on a scholarship. My Anya and Danny found themselves in the bottom three again this week. I don't want to see them go so soon, I'd really like to see them make it to the top ten, but I guess I'll have to wait and see what America votes next week.

My thoughts on:
Week 3
Week 2
Week 1

Working Girl

2007-07-09T23:00:00.000-05:00

Today's Monday Movie Moment is brought to by
Melanie Griffith and Harrison Ford in:

I’ve been looking for you.

Why? Do you know me?

No. I promised myself that when I saw you, I would get to know you.
You’re the first woman I’ve seen at one of these things who dresses like a woman. Not like a woman thinks a man would dress if he were a woman.

Thank you, I guess.

What are you doing here?

Actually, I’m looking for someone myself. His name is Jack Trainer.
He works at Dewey Stone. Do you know if he’s here?

Why are you looking for him?

Well, because I have a meeting with him tomorrow and I thought it might be nice to say hello and get a head start.

Well, he uh, just left.

Oh. Well, I should be going myself.

Well, have a drink with me.

I can’t. What’s your name?

No. No names, no business cards. No “you must know so and so.”

What is this?

No resumes. Let’s just meet like human beings, for once.

Well, it’s nice to meet you, whatever your name is,
but I really do have to go.

Please? Please… one drink.

Okay, one drink, but I’m buying.

Okay, but it’s an open bar.

Right. I knew that. I meant that if it wasn’t, I would be buying.

Uh, yeah.
Tequila Gold. Doubles.

Tequila.

Yeah. I promised myself that when we met, we’d drink tequila.
No Chardonnay, no frog water. Real drinks.
…..
…..
These things are usually so boring.

I wouldn’t know.

Power to the people.

The little people.
…..
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

Ha ha! Are you okay?

I’m fine. I’m just fine. I took a… um, antihistamine before, and it just makes for a nice little buzz.

Oh?
I didn’t know they let bad girls into these things.

Do I look like I don’t belong here?

No, no, I’m sure you’re a real ace at whatever it is that you do do.

Damn straight.

But how you look…

I have a head for business and a bod for sin.
Is there anything wrong with that?

No. No.

Friday Comics Commentary

2007-07-06T13:00:00.000-05:00

While Bush continues to weep over the loss of his only friend, he still finds the time to lend a helping hand for his ~~puppet master's~~ Vice President's friends who are less fortunate... Oh, wait. What he's actually doing is circumventing the law to protect one of his own. (Can you say circumventing, Mr. President?) Bush commuted Libby's sentence, which means that Libby will have a criminal record, but he'll be spared of 2 1/2 years in prison. He will also have to pay a fine of $250,000.00 and be on probation for two years. A commuted sentence actually means that the door for an eventual full pardon has been left open. Want to bet that there won't be half as much press coverage when that pardon goes through?

Six months ago he was considered the GOP front-runner and now, due to lackluster fundraising and excessive spending (McCain's payroll covered 150 staffers. From January through March, McCain spent nearly $1.6 million on salaries, the highest among Republican candidates. Romney was second at $1.1 million and Giuliani spent nearly $900,000.), he only has $2 million left for his campaign. Poor thing, $2 mil doesn't even buy you a decent lunch in DC.
Hey, McCain, here's some straight talk for you -
Drop out of the race already!

Join me, won't you, in bidding him a fond farewell...
Hit the road Jack, and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more. Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more.

Why is everyone making such a big deal about this? Oh, poor Bill Gates, he's no longer the richest man on earth. I think he'll survive. Besides, if you want to get technical about a person's wealth, Gates is still wealthier. He built his own fortune (he didn't inherit it) and contributes to world charities. See Bill, this is what you get for being kind hearted... (I'm being sarcastical, in case you can't tell.) (See, I did it again. Sarcastical, ha.). On the plus side, this is proof that Mexicans are good for things other than making babies and having BBQs on the front lawn every weekend. (Oh shit, did I just say that?). Congratulations, Slim. Try smiling, okay?

Happy 4th of July

2007-07-04T11:16:00.000-05:00

There are some days, some years, and some world events that make me ashamed of my country. Even still, with all of our faults, I love America for what it stands for. The ideals that what our nation was built upon are still there, and I, for one, will not let them fade gently into the night.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

I suggest that you hop on over to SamuraiFrog's blog and take a look at his 4th of July Posts. As always, he is insightful and thought provoking.

I Feel Special... I've Been Tagged

2007-07-02T15:35:00.000-05:00

Todays Monday Movie Moment is being replaced with this meme that SamuraiFrog tagged me with last week. Yes, I know I'm slow, but here I go anyway...

Instructions: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom.

1. Confessions of a Sophisticated Writer
2. The Urban Recluse
3. No Smoking in the Skullcave
4. Electronic Cerebrectomy
5. A Result of Destiny

What were you doing ten years ago?
I was off being one of the few and the proud, thinking that I could try and make a difference. Still trying.

What were you doing one year ago?
I was in DC one year ago going through the last of my intense physical therapy due to head trauma that had put me in a coma.

Five snacks you enjoy.

* Cheese. I must have been a cartoon mouse in a past life.
* Nuts, all kinds. My favorite are pistachios.
* Grapes. The red seedless ones.
* Popcorn. I love those snack-size microwave bags.

* Dove Chocolate. The chocolate is so deliciously creamy and melts perfectly in your mouth.

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics.
Only five? Man, I’ve got some crap ass lyrics in my head that I wish I could erase, but here are some that I actually like:
* Cure: Pictures Of You
* Bob Dylan: Like A Rolling Stone
* Cyndi Lauper: Time After Time
* Shakira: Tu
* U2: With Or Without You

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire.
* Take a sabbatical from my job to spend lots of quality time with my Corazon.
* Buy all of the Limoges boxes that I like.
* Save all the animals that I could from the local shelter.
* Buy all the Disney movies that I could find.

* Attempt to purchase, at auction, a Warhol or Kandinsky painting.

Five things you like doing.
* Driving. The openness of the road makes me feel free.
* Listening to music and connecting with the emotions in the rhythm.
* Reading. I haven’t been reading as often as I like lately, but I love getting lost in a good book.
* Taking things apart. I’m curious and I like to see how things work.
* Shopping. Hey, I’m a girl, I like stuff.

Five things you would never wear again.
* Jelly shoes. The person who brought them back this summer should be beaten!
* Footie pajamas.
* Leggings. Unless you are a dancer, why?
* Acid washed denim. Just no.
* Tie dye, it goes hand in hand with acid washed.

Now here is where I'm suppose to tag 5 people, but I don't have 5 people to tag, or I wasn't sure if you would do it or not. So if you read this blog and would like to do this meme, consider yourself tagged.

Friday Funny

2007-06-29T12:30:00.000-05:00

So You Think You Can Dance

2007-06-28T12:10:00.000-05:00

*Results Update Below*

Season 3, Week 3

1st couple: Jesus and Sara get Krump
I don’t normally like this style, it seems out of control and overly aggressive to me, but this was actual dancing with dramatic energy and was good. Sara is kickin’ some ass out there, representing a style usually dominated by men.

2nd couple: Cedric and Shauna dance Contemporary.
Even though it was choreographed by Mia Michaels, it was forgettable.

3rd couple: Kameron and Lacey dance the Quick Step.
One of my favorite couples and they don’t disappoint this week. They are so much fun to watch. I love them.

4th couple: Danny and Anya do Hip Hop.
I didn’t expect this routine to be all that great. It wasn’t as bad as I had expected. There were some great moves in there, but they looked a little out of their element. The routine had more of a Jazzy feel to me. I still love them.

5th couple: Dominic and Sabra dance the Rumba.
I’m really starting to like them. Sabra has really started to shine and Dom is just surprising the hell out of me. It was a smooth and sexy rumba.

6th couple: Neil and Lauren dance the Tango.
Last week I said that I wasn’t sure how I felt about them, well… this week, eh, I no like. There’s just something about them that doesn’t mesh.

7th couple: Hok and Jaimie dance Jazz.
This was the standout routine of the week for me. I haven’t really liked Jaimie and thought that the only reason she was still in the competition was because of Hok’s popularity, but shut my mouth cause the girl has got some skillz! She does this amazing Demi Plie that represents the blossoming of a flower… wow. If only she would like stop talking like so much that would be like great. And Hok, I just lub him. This choreography allowed him to show that he does have the technical ability for different dance styles. This dance was perfect.

8th couple: Pasha and Jessi dance the Cha Cha
My poor Pasha. He had to do an improve dance with former dance champion/choreographer Melanie because Jessi had to be taken to the hospital. Pasha was great, as usual, but I have to say that I’m upset because their rehearsals looked amazing and I was looking forward to seeing them dance as they are the other strong couple in this competition.
I hope that Jessi recovers soon.

I said it last week, and I’m saying it again. Cedric will be the male going home this week. Oh, but don't worry about him. It seems that super nice guest judge Debbie Allen is in love with him and has offered (via Nigel's suggestion) a dance scholarship to her studio. If Jessi isn't able to come dance for her life tonight, she will be eliminated from the competition.

*Thursday Night Results Show*
I was afraid something like this was going to happen after Cedric came out of his shell Wednesday night and spoke his mind after realizing that it was very probable he ~~would~~ should be going home on Thursday. It was the first time since competition that he was relaxed. I like Cedric, but he needs more training in different styles. I really don't think he deserves to be in this competition any longer. Two dancers, much better than he have been let go now and all I can think of is please, please don't let him become the Sanjaya of dance.
The judges said goodbye to Jesus and Jessi this week.

My thoughts on:
Week 2
Week 1

A Message for PETA

2007-06-27T11:10:00.000-05:00

You are rude, madam. Stop going after people in your usual self-aggrandizing way. You remind me of ~~sheep~~ people who have recently found religion and feel it is their sole duty to convert everyone lest they perish in the flames of hell for all eternity.

PETA (which everyone knows, as my little Ranito pointed out to me, means: People for the Evil Terrorization of Americans) president, Ingrid Newkirk, says in this letter to Michael Moore that: “Although we think that your film could actually help reform America’s sorely inadequate health care system, there’s an elephant in the room, and it is you. With all due respect, no one can help but notice that a weighty health issue is affecting you personally. We’d like to help you fix that. Going vegetarian is an easy and life-saving step that people of all economic backgrounds can take in order to become less reliant on the government’s shoddy healthcare system, and it’s something that you and all Americans can benefit from personally.”

She goes on to say: "Yes, America’s health care system needs to be fixed, but personal responsibility is a big part of why people look and feel as ill as they do."

While personal responsibility is just that, it still does not give you the right to attack a person based on their physical appearance. I think you need to take a revised look at what the word ethical means and apply it to your fellow man.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to use those eternal flames from hell to cook up some nice juicy steaks for me and mine. Feel free to join us ... you know you want it...

Mmm… animal protein.

Ghostbusters

2007-06-25T12:30:00.000-05:00

Today’s Monday Movie Moment is brought to you by various scenes from Ghostbusters that I find funny.

Listen!
Do you smell something?

What the hell are you doing?

-Sorry
-Sorry
-I’m sorry.
We thought you were someone else.

Successful test.

I guess so. Uh, I think we better split up

Good idea.

Yeah, we can do more damage that way.

Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full-trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster, and the theory of Atlantis?

If there’s a steady paycheck in it, I’ll believe anything you say.

Hey, Ray. Do you believe in God?

Never met him.

Yeah, well, I do.
And I love Jesus’ style, you know?

This roof cap is made of a magnesium-tungsten alloy.

What are you so involved with there?

These are the blueprints for the structural ironwork in Dana Barrett’s apartment building and they’re very, very strange.

Hey, Ray. Do you remember something in the Bible about the last days when the dead would rise from the grave?

I remember Revelations 7:12.
“And I looked as he opened the sixth seal and behold, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became as black as sackcloth and the moon became as blood.”

“And the seas boiled, and the skies fell.”

-Judgment Day.
-Judgment Day.

Every ancient religion has its own myth about the end of the world.

Myth!
Ray, has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason we’ve been so busy lately is because the dead have been rising from the grave.

How about a little music?

The Ghostbusters are here, Mr. Mayor.

Ghostbusters. Okay, the Ghostbusters.

Hey, where’s this Peck?

I am Walter Peck, sir, and I’m prepared to make a full report.
These men are consummate snowball artists.
They use sense and nerve gases to induce hallucinations.
People think they’re seeing ghosts.
And they call these bozos who conveniently show up to deal with the problem with a fake, electronic light show.

Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by Dickless here.

They caused an explosion.

Is this true?

Yes, it’s true.
This man has no dick.

It’s a girl.

It’s Gozer.

I thought Gozer was a man.

It’s whatever it wants to be.

Well whatever it is, it’s got to get by us.

Right.

Go get her, Ray!

Gozer the Gozerian?
Good evening.
As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of New York I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension.

That ought to do it. Thanks very much, Ray.

Are you a god?

No.

Then… die!
…..
…..
…..

Ray, when someone asks you if you’re a god you say, “Yes!”

All right.
This chick is toast!

Sympathy

2007-06-24T15:00:00.000-05:00

Stranger than your sympathy
This is my apology
I'm killing myself from the inside out
And all my fears have pushed you out

I wish for things that I don't need
(all I wanted)
And what I chase won't set me free
(all I wanted)
And I get scared but I'm not crawling on my knees

Oh, yeah everything's all wrong, yeah
Everything's all wrong, yeah
Where the hell did I think I was?

Stranger than your sympathy
I take these things, so I dont feel
I'm killing myself from the inside out
And now my head's been filled with doubt

It's hard to lead the life you choose
(all I wanted)
When all your luck's run out on you
(all I wanted)
You can't see when all your dreams are coming true

Oh, yeah
It's easy to forget, yeah
When you choke on the regrets, yeah
Who the hell did I think I was?

Stranger than your sympathy
All these thoughts you stole from me
I'm not sure where I belong
Nowhere's home and I'm all wrong

And I wasn't all the things
I tried to make you believe I was
And I wouldnt be the one to kneel
Before the dreams I wanted
And all the talk and all the lies
Were all the empty things disguised as me

Mmm, yeah
Stranger than your sympathy
Stranger than your sympathy
Mmm hmmm mmm

-- Goo Goo Dolls

Happy Birthday

2007-06-22T14:30:00.000-05:00

Cynthia Ann Stephanie Lauper

June 22, 1953

I didn't fully realize just how much I love Cyndi Lauper until someone I love asked me what my favorite song was. I, not being one who generally thinks about these types of things, actually thought about it. I was torn between Time After Time and True Colors. Every time I hear those songs, it's like listening to them for the first time. She has such beauty and depth to her voice and I am grateful that she has shared it with us.

Happy Birthday Cyndi!

Friday Funny

2007-06-22T14:00:00.000-05:00

So You Think You Can Dance

2007-06-21T12:05:00.000-05:00

Season 3, Week 2

1st couple: Neil and Lauren danced Hip Hop.
They are both good technical dancers, but I’m not sure how I feel about Lauren yet. I think she’s holding back. I do like Neil more this week than I did last week. He had some awesome acrobatic moves.

2nd couple: Pasha and Jessi dance a Jazz piece.
It was an African/Modern/Contemporary number choreographed by Tyce Diorio and I loved it! Pasha surprised me with the fluidity of his movements and Jessie is just an amazing dancer.

3rd couple: Hok and Jaimie danced the Samba.
It was choreographed by Jean Marc Genereux, who makes me laugh every time I see him because my mom, last season, described him as a gay Joe Pesci. A young, gay Joe Pesci.
I was already cringing just thinking about Hok and Latin dancing, but was pleasantly surprised that my boy can move his hips. The technical aspect of the Samba wasn’t there, but the performance aspect of it was wonderfully entertaining and I think Hok will be safe for another week. Poor Jamie, Hok is so popular from his previous auditions and has a large following (me included) that she gets a little overlooked. It’s a good thing that she’s busting out in other places.

4th couple: Dominic and Sabra.
I did not particularly enjoy their Disco routine from last week, but I fell in love with their contemporary dance this week. Who knew that a cocky B-boy could open up his horizons and connect emotionally with a piece like this?

5th couple: Cedric and Faina dance the Fox Trot.
Individually they are great in their styles, but as partners, they suck.
I think they are going to find themselves in the bottom three couples again and I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the last week for one or both of them.

6th couple: Kameron and Lacey do Broadway

They are one of my favorite couples and I love them again this week. They danced to All That Jazz from Chicago and had fun while doing it. It also helped that Lacey looked hot in her shorts and garters.

7th couple: Danny and Anya dance the Viennese Waltz

I fell in love with Anya during her auditions and continue to fall in love with her. This waltz with Danny shows how great they are as partners. They are so beautiful together and they are my favorite couple on the show. Nigel said it best when he said: “For all the people who know absolutely nothing about dancing, they will have watched that and said how beautiful.”

8th couple: Jimmy and Shauna dance Hip Hop
The choreography was good, it was a mix of hip hop and stepping. In the end, it just didn’t work for me. The stepping seemed to be forced and in slow motion. It may have been the red lighting they used for those moves, but I just didn’t like it that much.

9th couple: Jesus and Sara and the Paso Doble
The movement and emotions were there. BUT the music was absolutely, completely, horrendously wrong! The Paso Doble is a traditional Spanish dance that portrays the relationship between a Matador and a bull and should never, ever, for any reason be danced to a bonus remix of Queen’s We Will Rock You.
I think gay Joe Pesci screwed them on their music selection this week, but hopefully it won’t affect the voting too much.

*Update*
Jimmy and Faina were voted off this week.
I'm actually a little pissed about the judges decision in keeping Cedric. I was certain that he would be the male dancer to go this week. At least Nigel made a very direct point of telling Cedric that if he screwed up next week, uniqueness or not, he would not be saved.
I'm going to go ahead and say that Cedric will be gone next week along with Shauna or Jaimie, but who knows... just my opinion.

My thoughts on week 1

I'm Rated R. Who Knew?

2007-06-20T17:00:00.000-05:00

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

hell(5x) ass(3x) fuckin(2x) crap(1x)

I took this quiz over at SamuraiFrog's blog and am in shock that I have an R rating! What the fuck, man?! Oh, well. I guess this means I'm a bad girl.

Movie Moment Monday

2007-06-18T12:30:00.000-05:00

Todays movie moment is brought to you by:

Morgan:
Would you look at all those stars?
I mean, you look up, and you think God made all of that…
but still remembered to make a little speck like me.
Kind of flattering, really.
Wyatt, do you believe in God?
No, come on, really. Do you?

Wyatt:
Yeah, maybe.
Hell, I don’t know.

Morgan:
Well what do you think happens when you die?

Wyatt:
Something. Nothing.
Hell, I don’t know.

Morgan:
Well, I read this book—
a book on spiritualism.

Virgil:
Oh, God.
Here he goes again.

Morgan:
Said that a lot of people, when they die they see this light—
like in a tunnel.

Wyatt:
Yeah?

Morgan:
They say it’s the light leading you to heaven.

Wyatt:
Really?
Well what about Hell?
They got a sign there or what?

Morgan:
Hey, Wyatt, god damn it.
I’m serious.

Friday Funny

2007-06-15T14:40:00.000-05:00

As the title implies (suggests, whatever), this is going to be a weekly feature. Don't think that I came up with this little clever waste of blog space all my own, no. I stole it (shh, don't tell) from SamuraiFrog and his Monday Funny feature on his very eclectic, very entertaining, and thought-provoking Electronic Cerebrectomy blog. And if that doesn't sound interesting enough for you, he also posts tons of spank-worthy photos for your viewing pleasure (if that's your thing).

Happy Flag Day

2007-06-14T17:35:00.000-05:00

I am the Flag
by Ruth Apperson Rous

I am the flag of the United States of America.

I was born on June 14, 1777, in Philadelphia.

There the Continental Congress adopted my stars and stripes as the national flag.

My thirteen stripes alternating red and white, with a union of thirteen white stars in a field of blue, represented a new constellation, a new nation dedicated to the personal and religious liberty of mankind.

Today fifty stars signal from my union, one for each of the fifty sovereign states in the greatest constitutional republic the world has ever known.

My colors symbolize the patriotic ideals and spiritual qualities of the citizens of my country.

My red stripes proclaim the fearless courage and integrity of American men and boys and the self-sacrifice and devotion of American mothers and daughters.

My white stripes stand for liberty and equality for all.

My blue is the blue of heaven, loyalty, and faith.

I represent these eternal principles: liberty, justice, and humanity.

I embody American freedom: freedom of speech, religion, assembly, the press, and the sanctity of the home.

I typify that indomitable spirit of determination brought to my land by Christopher Columbus and by all my forefathers - the Pilgrims, Puritans, settlers at James town and Plymouth.

I am as old as my nation.
I am a living symbol of my nation's law: the Constitution of the United States and the Bill of Rights.

I voice Abraham Lincoln's philosophy: "A government of the people, by the people,for the people."

I stand guard over my nation's schools, the seedbed of good citizenship and true patriotism.

I am displayed in every schoolroom throughout my nation; every schoolyard has a flag pole for my display.

Daily thousands upon thousands of boys and girls pledge their allegiance to me and my country.

I have my own law—Public Law 829, "The Flag Code" - which definitely states my correct use and display for all occasions and situations.

I have my special day, Flag Day. June 14 is set aside to honor my birth.

Americans, I am the sacred emblem of your country. I symbolize your birthright, your heritage of liberty purchased with blood and sorrow.

I am your title deed of freedom, which is yours to enjoy and hold in trust for posterity.

If you fail to keep this sacred trust inviolate, if I am nullified and destroyed, you and your children will become slaves to dictators and despots.

Eternal vigilance is your price of freedom.

As you see me silhouetted against the peaceful skies of my country, remind yourself that I am the flag of your country, that I stand for what you are - no more, no less.

Guard me well, lest your freedom perish from the earth.

Dedicate your lives to those principles for which I stand: "One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

I was created in freedom. I made my first appearance in a battle for human liberty.

God grant that I may spend eternity in my "land of the free and the home of the brave" and that I shall ever be known as "Old Glory," the flag of the United States of America.

So You Think You Can Dance

2007-06-14T11:30:00.000-05:00

Season 3, Week 1

Wednesday was the first night of competition for the third season on
So You Think You Can Dance. I started watching this show last season and got hooked. On the first day of competition of the second season, I immediately fell in love with Benji and Donyelle. They had such great chemistry and were so fun to watch.
Benji went on to win the competition.

I love most things having to do with dance. Shows, movies, competition, participation… but I am not a fan of Dancing With The Stars. I just can not bring myself to watch it. Dancing is not a career choice for those so-called stars; it is merely another attempt to extend the extinguishing limelight of their mediocre pseudo fame.

As of last night, my favorites are:

Anya, she’s sexy and entertaining. She’s partnered with Danny, who is the adopted brother of Travis from last season.
They make a hot dance couple.

And Lacey, Benji’s little sister. She’s a combination of her brother and her cousin Heidi, also from last season. I’m not sure if that’s going to work for or against her yet. But damn(!) she was great last night with this amazing contemporary piece that Mia Michaels choreographed. Her partner, Kameron, needs more time to show his talent and personality.

My other favorite dancer is Hok. I doubt he’ll make it to the top four, but he is just so adorable. He’s a great hip hop/b-boy/freestyle/street dancer, but I don’t think he has the technical ability to take on other styles of dance. Maybe he’ll surprise us and stick around for a while.

Standout routines:
The Cabaret dance choreographed by Wade Robson and performed by Sara and Jesus was a standout for being unique. The Smooth Waltz danced by Jessi and Pasha was surprisingly elegant. Broadway routines are always fun and energetic as were Shauna and Jimmy in theirs.

Tonight is the live results show. The bottom three couples, determined by the amount of votes that are made in two hours, have to go before the judges and dance for their chance to stay in the competition.
Get use to me talking about this show (or not), cause this is one of the things that I get geeky about.

*Update*
Ashlee and Ricky are the first ones voted off.

Movie Moment Monday

2007-06-11T12:30:00.000-05:00

Today’s movie moment is brought to you by:
Al Pacino and Robert De Niro from Heat.
The ultimate game of cops and robbers

and an underlying, unspoken respect.

How you doing?
What do you say I buy you a cup a coffee?

Yeah, sure. Lets go.

Follow me.

Seven years in Folsom. In the hole for three. McNeil before that.
McNeil as tough as they say?

You looking to become a penologist?

You looking to go back?
You know I chased down some crews. Guys just looking to fuck up, get busted back.
That you?

You must’ve worked some dipshit crews.

I worked all kinds.

You see me doing liquor store holdup with a “Born to Lose” tattoo on my chest?

No, I do not.

Right.
I am never going back.

Then don’t take down scores.

I do what I do best.
I take scores. You do what you do best:
Try to stop guys like me.

So you never wanted a regular type life?

What the fuck is that? The barbecues and ball games?

Yeah.

This regular type life like your life?

My life? No, my life…
No, my life’s a disaster zone
I got a stepdaughter so fucked up…
…because her real father is this large-type asshole.
I got a wife.
We’re passing each other on the down slope of a marriage. My third.
Because I spend all my time chasing guys like you around the block. That’s my life.

Guy told me one time:
“Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.”
Now, if you’re on and me and you got to move when I move…
…how do you expect to keep a marriage?

Well that’s an interesting point.
What are you, a monk?

I have a woman.

What do you tell her?

I tell her I’m a salesman.

So then, if you spot me coming around that corner…
…you just gonna walk out on this woman?
Not say good-bye?

That’s the discipline.

That’s pretty vacant.

Yeah. It is what it is.
It’s that, or we both better go do something else, pal.

I don’t know how to do anything else.

Neither do I.

I don’t much want to either.

Neither do I.

You know, I have this, uh, recurring dream.
I’m sitting at this big banquet table and…
…all the victims of all the murders I ever worked are sitting at this table…
…and they’re staring at me with these black eyeballs…
…because they got eight-ball hemorrhages from the head wounds.
And there they are, these big balloon people…
…because I found them two weeks after they’d been under the bed.
The neighbors reported the smell…
…and there they are…
…all of them just sitting there.

What do they say?

Nothing.

No talk?

They just…
They don’t have anything to say.
We just look at each other.
They look at me…
…and that’s it. That’s the dream.

I have one where I’m drowning.
And I gotta wake myself up and start breathing or I’ll die in my sleep.

You know what that’s about?

Yeah.
Having enough time.

Enough time…
…to do what you want to do.

That’s right.

You doing it now?

No, not yet.

You know, we’re sitting here…
…you and I like a couple of regular fellas.
You do what you do, and I do what I gotta do.
And now that we’ve been face to face…
…if I’m there and I gotta put you away…
…I won’t like it.
But, I’ll tell ya…
…if it’s between you…
…and some poor bastard whose wife you’re gonna turn into a widow…
…brother…
…you are going down.

There’s a flip side to that coin.
What if you do got me boxed in…
…and I gotta put you down?
Because no matter what…
…you will not get in my way.
We’ve been face to face, yeah.
But I will not hesitate.
Not for a second.

Maybe that’s the way it’ll be.
Or…
…who knows?

Or maybe we’ll never see each other again.

Official Language

2007-06-08T16:30:00.000-05:00

Movie Moment Monday

2007-06-04T13:40:00.000-05:00

This is an attempt for some regularity on my blog.

I was channel surfing on Sunday when I came across a regular broadcast version of Good Will Hunting. Since it is one of my favorite movies, I decided to watch it - on DVD of course, because who in the hell can watch a movie with commercial interruptions? There are other great scenes in this movie, but the one that follows easily applies to many of the things that piss me off about our current administration.
Feel free to act it out or at least, read it with a South Boston accent.

So why do you think I should work for the National Security Agency?

Well, you'd be working on the cutting edge. You'd be exposed to the kind of technology you wouldn't see anywhere else, because we've classified it.
Superstring theory, chaos math, advanced algorithms.

Code breaking.

Well, that's one aspect of what we do.

Oh, come on. I mean, that is what you do. You guys handle 80% of the intelligence workload. You're seven times the size of the CIA.

We don't like to brag about that, Will, but you're exactly right.
So the way I see it, the question isn't: "Why should you work for the NSA?" The question is: "Why shouldn't you?"

Why shouldn't I work for the NSA?
That's a tough one, but I'll take a shot.
Say I'm workin' at the NSA and somebody puts a code on my desk. Something no one else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself because I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. And once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels are hidin'. Fifteen hundred people that I never met, never had no problem with, get killed.
Now the politicians are saying, "Oh, send in the Marines to secure the area," 'cause they don't give a shit. It wasn't their kid over there getting shot, just like it wasn't them when their number got called 'cause they were off pulling a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southie over there takin' shrapnel in the ass. He comes back to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from, and the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job 'cause he'll work for 15 cents a day and no bathroom breaks.
Meanwhile, he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so that we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And of course, the oil companies used a skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them, but it ain't helpin' my buddy at 2.50 a gallon.
They're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, of course. Maybe they even took the liberty to hire an alcoholic skipper, who likes to drink martinis and fuckin' play slalom with the icebergs. It ain't too long till he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic.
So now my buddy's out of work, he can't afford to drive, so he's walkin' to the fuckin' job interviews which sucks because the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile, he's starvin', 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat, the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State.
So what do I think?
I'm holding out for something better.
I figure, fuck it. While I'm at it, why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard?
I can be elected president.

Blog Interrupted

2007-05-28T20:30:00.000-05:00

Life, Love, Liberty and The Pursuit of Happiness are what have kept me away from my lowly blog these past 3 months.
Okay, just life and all of the usual crap that dumps on you all at once are what have kept me away and occupied.
So stay tuned my loyal reader, all one of you ...
I'll be babbling soon and changing out the videos as soon as I can.

Man In Black

2007-02-26T01:10:00.000-06:00

Johnny Cash
February 26, 1932 - September 12, 2003

You wonder why I always dress in black
Why you never see bright colors on my back
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone
Well there's a reason for the things that I have on

I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down
Living in the hopeless, hungry side of town
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime
But is there because he's a victim of the times

I wear the black for those who never read
Or listened to the words that Jesus said
About the road to happiness through love and charity
Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me

Well we're doing mighty fine I do suppose
In our streak-o-lightning cars and fancy clothes
But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back
Up front there ought to be a Man In Black

I wear it for the sick and lonely old
For the reckless ones whose bad trips left them cold
I wear the black in mourning for the lives that could have been
Each week we lose a hundred fine young men

I wear it for the thousands who have died
Believing that the Lord was on their side
I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died
Believing that we all were on their side

There are things that never will be right I know
And things need changing everywhere you go
But till we start to make a move to make a few things right
You'll never see me wear a suit of white

I'd love to wear a rainbow every day
And tell the world that everything's OK
But I will carry off a little darkness on my back
Untill things are brighter I'm the Man In Black

Envelope Please

2007-02-25T09:30:00.000-06:00

Hours In My Day

2007-02-19T07:25:00.000-06:00

It's going on 50 hours and I've still not slept.
My body goes through the motions it must,
all to familiar with this type of abuse.
My mind, irritated by all who cross my path,
is still processing at 100 mph.
I glare, I snap.
I use my lack of sleep as an excuse
to let the bitch-monster run amok all those who annoy me.
I know I should get to bed, but the need and want of sleep has passed.
It's been replaced with an awareness that borders delirium.
Everything and nothing makes sense.
Everything has a pulse.
I can see the beats pound out of my eyes.
I can hear the earth breathing.

10 Random Things About Me

2007-02-15T07:30:00.000-06:00

* My hair is so long right now that it's nearly at my waist. I'm growing it for a good cause.

* I twirl strands of my hair until they twist together when I'm bored.

* I have a slight obsession with my fingernails being manicured.

* I always paint my toenails red in the winter.

* I don't like wearing coats unless I absolutely have to.

* I can go three days without sleep.

* I speed talk when I get hyper.

* I like watching scary movies, but if it's too gruesome, I watch it in the 1st fast-forward speed with subtitles.

* I love my Dr. Martens (Mary Jane).

* I am the world's greatest trouble maker ... I have the t-shirt to prove it.

Have A Naughty Day

2007-02-14T10:30:00.000-06:00

The Love Calculator

2007-02-12T18:00:00.000-06:00

Here's a fun little site just in time for valentines

that you can waste some time with.

Pearls

2007-02-11T17:00:00.000-06:00

Women!
What can you say?
Who made 'em?

God must have been a fuckin' genius.

The hair ... They say the hair is everything, you know.
Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls ...
just wanted to go to sleep forever?

Or lips ... and when they touched yours, were like ...
that first swallow of wine ... after you just crossed the desert.

Tits.
Hoo-ah!
Big ones, little ones, nipples staring right out at ya,
like secret searchlights.

Mmm. Legs.
I don't care if they're Greek columns ...
or secondhand Steinways.
What's between 'em ...
passport to heaven.

I need a drink.
Yes, Mr Sims,
there's only two syllables in this whole wide world worth hearing:
pussy. Hah!
Are you listenin' to me, son?
I'm givin' ya pearls here.

I love Al Pacino in this movie.
It was on today and I actually sat down to watch it.
Other than the obvious end speech in the movie,
this is my favorite part.
I wanted to share it because honestly,
women, no matter what the romance industry has led you to believe,
want their men to lust after them with this type of passion.

Anna Nicole Smith

2007-02-09T00:00:00.000-06:00

Anna Nicole Smith, age 39, was pronounced dead Thursday after being taken to a Florida hospital after being found unconscious in her hotel room.

Anna Nicole, whose legal name was Vickie Lynn Marshall, had weathered some difficult times of late, including a tempestuous struggle in the United States Supreme Court for access to her deceased husband’s fortune,
the death in September of her 20-year-old son, Daniel Wayne Smith,
a pending paternity suit over her infant daughter, and just this week,
being named in a class-action lawsuit against TrimSpa, the diet-pill company for which she was a spokeswoman.

The Texas-born Smith was a topless dancer at strip club before she entered her photos in a search contest and made the cover of Playboy magazine in 1992. She became Playboy's playmate of the year in 1993. She was also signed to a contract with Guess jeans, appearing in TV commercials, billboards and magazine ads. In a statement, Playboy founder Hugh Hefner said: "I am very saddened to learn about Anna Nicole's passing. She was a dear friend who meant a great deal to the Playboy family and to me personally."

In 1994, she married 89-year-old oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall II,
owner of Great Northern Oil Co.
In 1992, Forbes magazine estimated his wealth at $550 million.

Through the '90s and into the new century, Anna was famous for being a pop-culture punchline because of her up-and-down weight, her Marilyn Monroe looks, her exaggerated curves, her little-girl voice, her ditzy-blonde persona, and her over-the-top revealing outfits.

She starred in her own reality TV series, "The Anna Nicole Show,"
in 2002-2004. Cameras followed her around as she sparred with her lawyer, hung out with her personal assistant and interior decorator, and cooed at her poodle, Sugar Pie. She also appeared in movies, performing bit parts. On her reality show and other recent TV appearances,
her speech was often slurred and she seemed out of it.

The preceding is not how I want to remember Anna Nicole. Despite her erratic behavior, I believe she was a lonely soul who was merely in search of returned love. She was a beautiful person in more than just the obvious way, and this is how I am going to remember her.

November 28, 1967 - February 8, 2007

Live Fast, Die Young

2007-02-08T09:40:00.000-06:00

February 8, 1931 - September 30, 1955

"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today."

Quiz Day

2007-02-07T08:45:00.000-06:00

Your Candy Heart Says "First Kiss"

You're a true romantic who brings an innocent hope to each new relationship.
You see the good in every person you date, and you relish each step of falling in love.

Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a romantic dinner your sweetie cooks for you

Your flirting style: friendly and sweet

What turns you off: cynics who don't believe in romance

Why you're hot: you always keep the romance alive

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

Your Heart Is Pink

In relationships, you like to play innocent - even though you aren't.
Each time you fall in love, it's like falling for the first time.

Your flirting style: Coy

Your lucky first date: Picnic in the park

Your dream lover: Is both caring and dominant

What you bring to relationships: Romance

What Color Heart Do You Have?

You Follow Your Heart

You're romantic, sentimental, and emotional.
You tend to fall in (and out of) love very quickly.
Some may call you fickle, but you can't help where your emotions take you.
You've definitely broken a few hearts, but you're not a heartbreaker by nature.
Your intentions are always good, even if they change with the wind

Do You Follow Your Head or Your Heart?

Your Love Style is Eros

For you, love is all about the passion!
And chances are, you're currently in love.
You have a strong physical response to love...
And you are great at committing
(As long as the person makes your toes curl!)

What's Your Love Style?

Your Love Type: INFJ

The Protector
In love, you strive to have the perfect relationship.
For you, sex is nearly a spiritual experience, a bonding of souls.

Overall, you have high expectations for any relationship you're in.
However, you tend to hold back a part of yourself.

Best matches: ENTP and ENFP

What's Your Love Type?

You Have Ten Days

2007-02-04T13:15:00.000-06:00

Ten days to come up with and show me all the different ways that you love me. Be it with flowers and expensive gifts or deliciously creamy chocolates that you can eat off of my body ...

Okay, I'm just kidding about the flowers and expensive gifts.

Valentines is ten days away. This is not a holiday that I actually celebrate. You don't need a special commercial holiday that is propagated by greeting card companies to tell you when the perfect day is to tell that someone you love them.
If you love someone, you love him or her every day of the year.

That being said, I am still going to do several posts about this crazy little thing called love.

I've been neglecting my blog and if anything, this will give me a reason to post more often.

So until next time, grab your luva, give them a kiss and tell them that you love them.

Amadeus

2007-01-27T11:30:00.000-06:00

There's a place that I like to go.
A place for me that no one else knows.
It's full of beautiful sights and sounds.
Full of colors that have not been named.
There are no signs or directions to show you the way.
You have to close your eyes and listen.
You have to let your heart lead the way.

The piano is one of my favorite instruments. The sound and beauty transcends all barriers to tell you a story, to share with you it's inner most thoughts and emotions. All it asks in return is that you lovingly stroke and caress it's beautiful ivory skin.

This is how I feel whenever I hear piano compositions.
This is what I feel every time I listen to Johannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Mozart, better known as Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. I'm transported into another realm where the impossible does not exist and everything can be explained.

In honor of one of the greatest composers of classical music, I give thanks for opening up the boundaries of my world and wish you a Happy Birthday.

January 27, 1756 - December 5, 1791

Mozart's attributed last words:

The taste of death is upon my lips.
I feel something, that is not of this earth.

She's Back! [Insert Psycho Theme Music Here]

2007-01-19T10:00:00.000-06:00

Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy. The premise of this reality show is that two moms switch homes and try to assume each other's familial duties, with each family getting $50,000 for participating. The catch: The moms decide at the end how their host family will spend the money.

I don't watch this show, (damn did I hear about this episode though)

but if you were anywhere near a computer in 2005, you probably saw video(s) of Marguerite Perrin looking like a demon herself as she denounced the pagan ways of her host family.
I laughed so hard that I cried when I watched her tirades on-line for the first time over a year ago. And you know what? It's still hilarious!

Oh man, her poor family is all I could think of. The look of horror on their faces as she screams out her frustrations about her ordeal is classic (and sad)! There was one little catch phrase that she used that I just fell in love with because I thought it was so-o funny ... she would go around screaming that people were Dark-Sided (sounds like she's saying dork). I loved it! Wouldn't that make a great t-shirt? I call dibs just in case Fox or anyone else hasn't cashed in on that.

"Religious" hypocrites such as herself are the reasons why so many stay away from church. Yes, I called her a hypocrite. You see that she took the money after all. She [that ... it] is scary!

Trading Spouses knew they couldn't let the self-proclaimed "God Warrior" disappear into obscurity after that. This season, Marguerite has returned, slimmer thanks to gastric bypass surgery (I'm eager to see how she looks now), and she's ready to take on the Malone-Browns (that poor man, I hope he has patience and a sense of humor), a family of African-American community activists in St. Petersburg, Florida.

Part 1 of 2 episodes will air tonight, Friday, on Fox at 9/8c

Weird Wednesday

2007-01-17T10:45:00.000-06:00

FISH DIP
Would you let skin-eating fish nibble at your toes?
To satisfy an increasingly sophisticated clientele in a competitive market, and in line with the national penchant for the bizarre, Singapore's beauty providers often go to extremes.

At Fish Reflexology, clients' feet are exfoliated by tiny fish that nibble off dead skin, a method used in Turkey for decades to treat diseases. The treatment is also available in some areas of China and Japan.

So, if you have really jacked-up feet, would they need to use a piranha?

A Dream That Should Never Be Forgot

2007-01-15T11:00:00.000-06:00

Martin Luther King, Jr. sought to forge the common ground on which people from all walks of life could join together to address important community issues. Working alongside individuals of all ages, races and backgrounds, Dr. King encouraged Americans to come together to strengthen communities, alleviate poverty, and acknowledge dignity and respect for all human beings. Service, he realized, was the great equalizer.

If you want to be important - wonderful.
If you want to be recognized - wonderful.
If you want to be great - wonderful.
But recognize that he who is greatest among you shall be your servant.
That's a new definition of greatness.
And this morning, the thing that I like about it: by giving that definition of greatness, it means that everybody can be great,
because everybody can serve.
You don't have to have a college degree to serve.
You don't have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve.
You don't have to know about Plato and Aristotle to serve.
You don't have to know Einstein's theory of relativity to serve.
You don't have to know the second theory of thermodynamics in physics to serve.
You only need a heart full of grace, a soul generated by love.
And you can be that servant.

Excerpt from The Drum Major Instinct

Read, listen and watch Martin Luther King, Jr. deliver his "I Have A Dream" speech given on August 28, 1963 at the Lincoln Memorial, Washington D.C.

No End In Sight

2007-01-10T09:10:00.000-06:00

President Bush is suppose to address the nation tonight to tell us that it had been a mistake earlier not to have more American and Iraqi troops fighting the war and to acknowledge that the rules of engagement were flawed.

So he's going to acknowledge this flaw by sending in 20,000 more troops? Where the hell is basic common sense? Forget actual leadership, as it has never been present. I'm talking about your everyday, run of the mill common sense that should tell you to change, or rather stop, your current strategy when it yields no results.

There are currently over 132,000 troops now in Iraq. This war has cost us, so far, over $400 billion, with another $1 billion expected to be used for Iraq's economy. Thousands of American and Iraqi lives have been lost. And in the meantime, it has taken Bush over three months to come up with a 20 minute speech, I mean, this new policy in which he continues to ignore the reviews of experts and their advice in handling this vastly unpopular and unsupported war.

He just doesn't get it. He thinks by saying, and trying to align himself with the "American" people, that he isn't satisfied with the "progress" in Iraq that we all of a sudden are going to listen to what he thinks is a good idea?

When we say that we aren't satisfied, we mean: pull our fucking troops out of there already!

Musical Genius Overload

2007-01-08T11:15:00.000-06:00

David Bowie

and

Elvis Presley

What can be said about these men, really?
I've found that with most people, they either love them or hate them.
Obviously I love them both.
To commemorate this momentous day, 12 years apart,
this weeks random music mood is dedicated in their honor.

And for you those of you who love David Bowie,
(as anyone in their right mind should)
check out Zaius Nation's amazing compilation of YouTube videos
that I ~~link stole~~ found while visiting SamuraiFrog.

Happy New Year

2007-01-01T10:00:00.000-06:00

A group of students were asked to list what they thought were the current Seven Wonders of The World. Though there was some disagreement, the following got the most votes:

While gathering the students' votes, the teacher noted that one quiet student hadn't turned in her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The girl replied, "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite make up my mind because there were so many wonders." The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help."

The girl hesitated, then read from a small notepad,
I think the Seven Wonders of The World are:

To Touch
To Taste
To See
To Hear

She hesitated a little, and then added:

To Feel
To Laugh
To Love and Be Loved

The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.
The things we overlook as simple and ordinary are indeed wondrous.
May your New Year be filled with each of these wonders as well.

Feliz Ano Nuevo
Felice Anno Nuovo
Bonne Annee
Prosit Neujahr
Hauoli Makahiki Hou
Xin Nian Kuai Le
Sun Leen Fai Lok
Akimashite Omedetto Gozaimasu
Gott Nytt Ar

2006 - Year In Review

2006-12-30T20:30:00.000-06:00

2006: A Look Back
A Year of Change, Challenges and Triumphs
Presented by Yahoo!News

Godfather of Soul

2006-12-26T07:03:00.000-06:00

One of the major musical influences of the past 50 years.

James Brown
May 3, 1933 - December 25, 2006

In 1986, he was one of the first artists in the first class of inductees into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland along with Elvis Presley and Chuck Berry. He received Grammys for "Papa's Got a Brand New Bag" in 1965 (best R&B recording) and "Living in America" in 1987 (best R&B vocal performance, male), and a lifetime achievement honor from the academy in 1992. He also was honored by the Songwriters Hall of Fame in 2001 and the Rhythm and Blues Foundation Pioneer Awards in 1993, and was a Kennedy Center honoree in 2003.

My First Christmas In Heaven

2006-12-25T00:01:00.000-06:00

A friend of mine gave this to me the year that my grandmother passed away. Two years later I flew into New York and posted copies of it that I had made all over Ground Zero. I gave it to anyone who I saw crying at the make-shift memorial sites. This year I shared it with someone who means a great deal to me, someone who lost a loved one earlier this year.

Whatever you may or may not believe in, if you've lost someone, ever, I hope that you can find comfort in what these words convey.

My First Christmas In Heaven

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below

with tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular! Please wipe away that tear,

for I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear,

but the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you the joy their voices bring,

for it is beyond description to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me. I see the pain inside your heart,

even though I am so far away, we really aren't apart.

So be happy for me, loved ones. You know I hold you dear.

Be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I send you each a special gift from my heavenly home above.

I send you each a memory of my undying love.

After all, love is the gift more precious than gold.

It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do,

for I can't count the blessings or the love He has for you.

So, have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear.

Remember, I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

The Shortest Day

2006-12-22T00:51:00.000-06:00

Today marks the official start of winter and the shortest day in regards to actual daylight. So, for those of you who may have a slight case of achluophobia
(fear of darkness), I'm sorry to say, but this is going to be a long night for you.
Of course, if you need help overcoming any fears, I can think of all sorts of ways to distract you in the dark (ha).

Winter has begun and Christmas is just a few days away. With that in mind, I'd like to share another holiday tradition of mine with you. As most of you know, I love New York. Of course that means that the tree at Rockefeller Center is a must for my spirit. Since, sadly, I won't be able to see it for myself this year, a picture will have to do. I remember as a child I use to stand and stare and imagine that the lights I was being bathed in weren't from the tree. I use to imagine and believe that they were stars that had fallen from heaven for that short magical time of the year to show us what pure joy really looked like. Even now, as an adult, if I look hard enough, I can still feel and see that magic.

So, to all in Bloggerland,
I wish you the same joy this holiday season
that I always felt as a child.

p.s.
Don't forget to have an orgasm today.

Happy Hanukkah

2006-12-15T12:23:00.000-06:00

This is a silly tradition of mine.
Just in the same way that I have to ride the Conquistador at Six Flags before anything else. The way that I have to eat a hot dog

(obviously not Jewish) and have a beer at a baseball game. The way that Home Alone (both) and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation are required viewing ... My holiday season doesn't start until I hear the lovable,

super-silly Adam Sandler sing his Hanukkah song.

So Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas,

Celebrate Kwanzaa and have a fun Festivus!
Happy Holidays everyone.

Don't forget to stop my media player on the right before having a little Hanukkah laugh.

Edvard Munch

2006-12-12T09:09:00.005-06:00

Edvard Munch
December 12, 1863 - January 23, 1944

Edvard Munch is best known for his painting, The Scream
(originally called Despair).
Although I do love that painting, it's not my favorite.

Munch was born in Ådalsbruk, Norway, and grew up in Kristiania (now Oslo). He was related to painter Jacob Munch and historian Peter Andreas Munch.

He lost his mother, Laura Cathrine Munch, née Bjølstad, to tuberculosis in 1868, his older and favorite sister Sophie to the same disease in 1877. Ultimately his father, Christian Munch, died young, as well, in 1889. Munch also had a brother, Peter Andreas and two younger sisters. After their mother's death, the Munch siblings were raised by their father, who instilled in his children a deep-rooted fear by repeatedly telling them that if they sinned in any way, they would be doomed to hell without chance of pardon. One of Munch's younger sisters was diagnosed with mental illness at an early age. Munch himself was also often ill. Of the five siblings only Andreas married, but he died a few months after the wedding. He would later say, "Sickness, insanity and death were the angels that surrounded my cradle and they have followed me throughout my life." A number of modern sources have described Munch's illness as probably being bipolar disorder.

Madonna

Dance of Life

Become Jackson Pollock For A Day

2006-12-11T08:17:00.000-06:00

On the floor I am more at ease, I feel nearer, more a part of the painting, since this way I can walk around in it, work from the four sides and be literally 'in' the painting.

~ Jackson Pollock, 1947

Jackson Pollock

1912 - 1956

American painter,

the commanding figure of

the Abstract Expressionist movement.

It has been suggested that Pollock was influenced by Native American sand paintings, made by trickling thin lines of colored sand onto a horizontal surface. It was not until 1947 that Pollock began his "action" paintings, influenced by Surrealist ideas of "psychic automatism" (direct expression of the unconscious). Pollock would fix his canvas to the floor and drip paint from a can using a variety of objects to manipulate the paint.

Click here to begin your Abstract masterpiece.
Each click of your mouse changes the color.
Refresh gives you a clean canvass.
Happy painting.

65 Years Later

2006-12-07T07:50:00.000-06:00

A National Moment of Silence will be observed at 7:55 a.m.
... the exact time of the Pearl Harbor attack.

Please take a moment out of your day
to honor the lives of those who were lost.

The Way Forward?

2006-12-06T07:49:00.000-06:00

A commission on the war in Iraq recommended new and enhanced diplomacy Wednesday so the United States can begin to move its combat forces out of the country responsibly.

Begin to move its combat forces out of the country responsibly ... Responsibly - is that even an option anymore? I don't know why, but this topic has me particularly pissed off this morning.
The commission has warned, after an 8 month review, that "the situation in Iraq is grave and deteriorating." Well no fucking shit!
Only 2,800 U.S. Troops have been killed and that number continues to grow on a daily basis.

The report goes on to say that if the situation continues to deteriorate, there is a risk of a "slide toward chaos that could trigger the collapse of Iraq's government and a humanitarian catastrophe." "Neighboring countries could intervene ... The global standing of the United States could be diminished. Americans could become more polarized."

Could become more polarized, could ...
Polarized is defined as:
to divide into sharply opposing factions, political groups, etc.
I think the use of this verb is ignorantly inappropriate.
We are well beyond the stage of diplomatic decency here, not that any was ever put in place to begin with.

Bush said he told the 10 commission members that his administration will take their report, called "The Way Forward," very seriously.
He goes on to say that this report gives a very tough assessment of the situation in Iraq and that it is a report that brings some really very interesting proposals, and that we (he) will take every proposal seriously and we will act in a timely fashion.

A timely fashion? HA! This coming from our backwater-talking, stupid is as stupid does, stay the course shouting leader who proves that when it comes to acquiring a good job, it's all about who (daddy) you know.

Anyway, happy hump day everyone.

Happy Birthday

2006-11-27T08:43:00.000-06:00

November 27, 1942 - September 18, 1970

When the power of love overcomes the love of power ...
the world will know peace

~ Jimi Hendrix

Jimi Hendrix, born Johnny Allen Hendrix at 10:15 a.m. on November 27, 1942, at Seattle's King County Hospital, was later renamed James Marshall by his father, James "Al" Hendrix. Young Jimmy took an interest in music, drawing influence from virtually every major artist at the time, including B.B. King, Muddy Waters, Howlin' Wolf, Buddy Holly, and Robert Johnson. Entirely self-taught, Jimmy's inability to read music made him concentrate even harder on the music he heard.

Widely recognized as one of the most creative and influential musicians of the 20th century, Jimi Hendrix pioneered the explosive possibilities of the electric guitar. Hendrix's innovative style of combining fuzz, feedback and controlled distortion created a new musical form. Because he was unable to read or write music, it is nothing short of remarkable that Jimi Hendrix's meteoric rise in music took place in just four short years. His musical language continues to influence a host of modern musicians.

When I was a little boy, I believed that if you put a tooth under your pillow, a fairy would come in the night and take away the tooth and leave a dime. Now, I believe in myself more than anything. And, I suppose in a way, that's also believing in God. If there is a God and He made you, then if you believe in yourself, you're also believing in Him. So I think everybody should believe in himself. That doesn't mean you've got to believe in heaven and hell and all that stuff. But it does mean that what you are and what you do is your religion. I can't express myself in easy conversation - the words just don't come out right. But when I get up on stage - well, that's my whole life. That's my religion. My music is electric, electric church music, if by 'church' you mean religion.

I am electric religion.
~ London 1969

You Are Cordially Invited

2006-11-26T10:42:00.000-06:00

To Take Part In The Global Orgasm

Who:
All Men and Women, you and everyone you know.
Where:
Everywhere in the world, but especially in countries with weapons of mass destruction.
When:
Solstice Day - Friday, December 22, at the time of your choosing, in the place of your choosing and with as much privacy as you choose.
Why:
To effect positive change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy, a Synchronized Global Orgasm.

We cannot live without change. The race for survival in this world is not to the strongest, but to the most adaptive.

We don't predict the future and then wait. We create the future.

Just wanted to share this with you in case you haven't seen the press coverage as of late. After all, any reason for an orgasm right?

And to possibly help affect world peace, well ...

Just bring on the orgasms already!

Click on the photo for the official website or click here for the blog.

See You In A Week (or so)

2006-11-18T17:40:00.000-06:00

I hope everyone in Bloggerland has a nice holiday, regardless of how you may or may not celebrate.

Top 10 Reasons To Have A Happy Thanksgiving

10. A reason to "Pig Out".

9. Macy's Day Parade is optional.

8. Wishbone wishes.

7. The house smells so good.

6. You're not a Pilgrim.

5. You don't have to think about your diet until the day after.

4. Any holiday is a good holiday.

3. Two desserts.

2. Alka-Seltzer.

And the #1 reason to have a Happy Thanksgiving is:

You didn't have to shoot the turkey!

Enjoy the company you're in and give thanks for the memories that you are creating in that moment.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Birthday!

2006-11-14T08:28:00.000-06:00

Joyeux Anniversaire!
Claude Monet 11/14/1840 - 12/05/1926

What is Art? Art is subjective. What is subjective?
Subjective is:

Existing in the mind; belonging to the thinking subject rather than to the object of thought.
Pertaining to or characteristic of an individual; personal; individual: a subjective evaluation.
Placing excessive emphasis on one's own moods, attitudes, opinions, etc.; unduly egocentric.

That being said, I'd like to share with you, in honor of Claude Monet's birthday, a painting that, for me, represents my ideal place of tranquility. It is called The Garden Path at Giverny, which was his actual home.
It was here that he created his much celebrated water-garden,
which served as the theme for the series of paintings on Water-Lillies that dominated his work.

Happy Friday

2006-11-10T07:17:00.000-06:00

HEY YOU! YES, YOU - GO VOTE!

2006-11-06T07:51:00.000-06:00

Election Day Is Tuesday, Nov. 7th

Voting is the easiest way to have the biggest impact with the least amount of effort. If you don't vote, then you aren't allowed to bitch. And don't give me the whole, "There aren't any worthy candidates" spiel, because as always, it comes down to the lesser of the evils.

Elections for the United States House of Representatives will be held on November 7, 2006, with all of the 435 seats in the House up for election.

The House is currently composed of 229 Republicans, 201 Democrats and 1 Independent (who caucuses with the Democrats). There are four vacancies: New Jersey's 13th Congressional District, Texas' 22nd Congressional District, Florida's 16th Congressional District, and Ohio's 18th Congressional District. Republicans currently hold a 28 seat advantage, and Democrats would need to pick up 15 seats to take control of the House, which has had a Republican majority since 1995.

Click Here For The Official Sites Of The Secretaries Of State And/Or Directors Of Elections In The 55 States And Territories.
America Votes
Declare Yourself
Track The Electoral Vote, Using The Latest State Polls.
Voting And Elections at FirstGov
National Voter Hotline
Rock The Vote
Project Vote Smart
Votes Database Lets You Browse Every Vote In The U.S. Congress Since 1991.

Shit That Bugs Me (About Men)

2006-11-03T00:19:00.000-06:00

Scratching in public. Men, we do not want to see you "adjusting" your boys. If we see you scratching too much, we start to think that you may have a medical or hygiene problem and we automatically cross you off of our list. AND, if seeing us is the cause for you doing that - try and do it discreetly - otherwise, just excuse yourself and go bust a quick nut.
Staring. Men, didn't your mommy ever tell you that it's not polite to stare? You can look at me all you want, I'm not coming over to you. If you think you have a shot with me ... you're the one who has gots to works for it.
Car flirting. Men, really, WTF? As if honking the horn, winking, and doing the head nod with kiss face is going to inspire me to roll down my window and give you my digits - or in your wishful/delusional mind, follow you and pull over. Puhleez!

Day Of The Dead

2006-11-01T11:32:00.000-06:00

While death is a topic largely avoided in the U.S., the remembrance of deceased ancestors and loved ones is traditional among diverse cultures around the globe, often marked by lighting candles or lamps and laying out offerings of food and drink. Such celebrations can be traced back as far as the glory days of ancient Egypt when departed souls were honored during the great festival of Osiris.

In Mexico the Day of the Dead is a holiday that tends to be a subject of fascination for visitors from abroad. With its rare mix of pre-Hispanic, Spanish culture, and Roman Catholic rituals, it is a perfect illustration of what has come to define the country and its people.

November 1st, All Saints Day, and November 2nd, All Souls Day are marked throughout Mexico by a plethora of intriguing customs that vary widely according to the ethnic roots of each region. Common to all, however, are colorful adornments and lively reunions at family burial plots, the preparation of special foods, offerings laid out for the departed on commemorative altars and religious rites that are likely to include noisy fireworks.

In most localities November 1st is set aside for remembrance of deceased infants and children, often referred to as angelitos (little angels). Those who have died as adults are honored November 2nd.

The spirits of the dead are expected to pay a holiday visit home and should be provided with an enticing repast and adequate sustenance for the journey. Frequently a wash basin and clean hand towel are provided so that visiting souls can freshen up before the feast. The offering may also include a pack of cigarettes for the after-dinner enjoyment of former smokers, or a selection of toys and extra sweets for deceased children.

At the family burial plot in the local cemetery, relatives spruce up each gravesite. In rural villages this may entail cutting down weeds that have sprouted up during the rainy season, as well as giving tombs a fresh coat of paint after making any needed structural repairs. The graves are then decorated according to local custom. The tomb may be simply adorned by a cross formed of marigold petals or elaborately embellished with colorful coronas (wreaths) and fresh or artificial floral arrangements. In many areas children's graves are festooned with brightly colored paper streamers or other festive adornments.

Death held a significant place in the pantheons and rituals of Mexico's ancient civilizations. Among the Aztecs, for example, it was considered a blessing to die in childbirth, battle or human sacrifice, for these assured the victim a desirable destination in the afterlife.

Living alongside death means that Mexicans have learned to accept it within their lives. Death is apparent in everyday life.
Death is a celebration.

Happy Halloween!

2006-10-31T07:55:00.000-06:00

The Nightmare Before Christmas: This Is Halloween

(Stop my player on the right before you push play on this)

Alright boys and girls ... Have Fun, Be Happy, and BE SAFE!

Halloween Countdown - 2

2006-10-30T10:18:00.000-06:00

Lucifer

This world of ours is a world of opposites.
There is light and shade,
there is heat and cold,
there is good and evil,
there is God and the Devil.

"Diabolus enim et alii dæmones a Deo quidem naturâ creati sunt boni,

sed ipsi per se facti sunt mali."

"The Devil and the other demons were created by God,

good in their nature but they by themselves have made themselves evil."

Devil is a title given to a supernatural entity, who, in most Abrahamic faiths, is the central embodiment of evil. We obtain our Devil from the Jews, and they got him from Babylon. The Jews cultivated the science of Demonology, and at one time it was believed that there were nine kinds of demons: Beelzebub, prince of the false gods of the other nations; the Pythian Apollo, prince of liars; Belial, prince of mischief makers; Asmodeus, prince of revengeful devils; Satan, prince of witches and magicians; Meresin, prince of aerial devils, who caused thunderstorms and plagues; Abaddon, who caused wars, tumults and combustions; Diabolus, who drives to despair, and Mammon, prince of the tempters.

No matter what we call him, the Devil is our symbol for what is bad and undesirable. From our human perspective, we see the world as a struggle between light and dark. We want to vanquish the bad so the good can prevail. In fact, good and bad cannot be separated, just as you cannot separate a shadow from its source. Darkness is simply the absence of light, and it is caused by errors that hide the truth.

Christianity views Satan as an angel cast from heaven by God, for being prideful, deceitful, and the tempter.

The name Lucifer originally denotes the planet Venus, emphasizing its brilliance. The Vulgate employs the word also for "the light of the morning" (Job 11:17), "the signs of the zodiac" (Job 38:32), and "the aurora" (Psalm 109:3). Metaphorically, the word is applied to the King of Babylon (Isaiah 14:12) as preeminent among the princes of his time; to the high priest Simon son of Onias (Ecclesiasticus 50:6), for his surpassing virtue, to the glory of heaven (Apocalypse 2:28), by reason of its excellency; finally to Jesus Christ himself (2 Peter 1:19; Apocalypse 22:16).

The Syriac version and the version of Aquila derive the Hebrew noun helel from the verb yalal, "to lament"; St. Jerome agrees with them (In Isaiah 1:14), and makes Lucifer the name of the principal fallen angel who must lament the loss of his original glory bright as the morning star. In Christian tradition this meaning of Lucifer has prevailed; the Fathers maintain that Lucifer is not the proper name of the devil, but denotes only the state from which he has fallen.

The Devil's Dictionary
Note:
Since the material here represents the view of one individual and was written in the early 1900's, there will no doubt be material here that you will find sexist, nationalist, racist, or just generally offensive. Proceed at your own risk.

Halloween Countdown - 4 & 3

2006-10-29T15:21:00.000-06:00

(Eek)
Sorry to my little pumpkins out there for falling behind on my Halloween posts, but I do have a life you know ...
(not really, I just want you to think that I do).

Origin Of The Werewolf Legend

During the middle ages, especially from the 15th to 17th century, Europe was under the dark shadow of ignorance and superstitions. Towns were underdeveloped and always surrounded by woods. The fear of wolves was like a nightmare. Their attacks were so frequent and atrocious in nature that people even feared to travel from one place to another. Every morning, countryside people would find half-eaten human limbs scattered on their fields.

The first recorded Werewolf sighting took place around the countryside of German town Colongne and Bedburg in 1591. An age-old pamphlet describes those shivering moments vividly. A few people had cornered a large wolf and set their dogs upon it. They started to pierce it with sharp sticks and spears. Surprisingly the ferocious wolf did not run away or try to protect itself, rather it stood up and turned out to be a middle-aged man. His name was Peter Stubbe
(also known as Stumpp) and he was from the same village.

Stubbe was put on a torture wheel where he confessed to sixteen murders including two pregnant women and thirteen children. The history behind his downfall was rather bizarre. He had started to practice sorcery when he was only 12 and was so obsessed with it that he even tried to make a pact with the Devil. Wearing a magic girdle he started to attack his enemies, real or imaginary. After several months he took the guise of a wolf and continued his evil acts with more brutality. In the wolf form he use to tear up his victims’ throats and suck warm blood from veins. Gradually his thirst for blood grew and he roamed around the fields in search of prey.

The savagery of his crimes was beyond imagination.
The trial record mentioned a few of them.

Once, two men and a woman were walking along a road that went through the forest that Stubbe used to hide in. He called one of them into the forest. When the first man did not return, the second one followed his trail and also disappeared into the forest - the woman ran for her life. Later, two mangled male corpses were recovered from the forest, but the woman’s body never reappeared. It was believed that Stubbe had devoured her.
Young girls playing together or milking the cows in the fields were his frequent victims. He use to chase them down like a hound. He would catch the slowest one, rape and kill her, then he would drink her hot blood and eat the tender flesh from her body.
However; the most gruesome sin he committed was upon his own son. He took him to a nearby forest, cracked the poor child’s skull open and ate the brain from it.

No punishment could match the magnitude of Stubbe’s crime. His flesh was pulled off with red-hot pincers, his arms and legs were broken and he was finally decapitated. His carcass was burned to ashes.

The Magistrate of Bedburg built a grim monument to remember the ghastly incident. Workmen put the torture wheel atop of a tall pole with Stubbe’s head above it, structured with the likeliness of a wolf. Sixteen pieces of yard-long wood cuts were hung from the rim of the wheel to commemorate the poor souls of all his victims. Word of Stubbe’s trial and execution spread across the land.

His brutality, atrocity and savagery were beyond human comprehension and was readily related with the behavior of a wolf. People started to believe that such individuals were living among them in the shadows ... They named them Werewolves.

Read more about Werewolves
Read more about Peter Stubbe

Witches

One of the more enduring symbols of Halloween, horror and folklore is that of the Witch. Ugly and evil, they are shown flying on their broomsticks, or stirring their cauldrons. Witches were thought of as ugly because evil is ugly.

The focus of witchcraft on medieval women can be seen in what have become the symbols of witchcraft: the broom, the cauldron and the cat. All of these are associated with the household and women's work.

Witchcraft is defined in dictionaries as the human exercise of alleged supernatural powers (sorcery). A woman believed to have such powers may be called a witch or sorceress. Although the man should be called a male witch, some people use the names: wizard, sorcerer or warlock.
Witches were not always thought of as evil or ugly. In ancient times, witches could be healers or wise women of the community. But as Christianity spread, they were often condemned because their power supposedly came from somewhere other than God.

Later, accusations of witchcraft often were used as a way to keep talented, intelligent women from threatening the male supremacy. They also could be used to make people toe the line with regard to community standards. Anyone who was thought of as different or rebellious could be accused.
Thus men were often accused as much as women.

Following the advice in the witch hunting manual Malleus Maleficarum - The Hammer of Witches - witch hunters used a variety of tests to try the accused. Believing that a witch wouldn't bleed when cut, they employed a variety of instruments to test this theory.
The book was written by two monks and it was a text that instructed Inquisitors how to question suspected witches and how to force a confession from them. So intense was the power of the Malleus Maleficarum that it is believed that over six million people died in Europe due to its teachings; many such individuals being women and children. Further, many deaths were from the result of torture; suspected witches were tortured with a number of implements and techniques including being drawn and quartered, and being burned alive. This period came to be known as the burning times.

Confession under torture was another favorite. Using a variety of grisly devices, the witch hunter would try to extract a confession from the victim. Although torture was sometimes held in secret, it often was a public spectacle, providing entertainment for the masses.

Birthmarks were often seen as the mark of the Devil. In a voyeuristic show, hunters would strip their victims before the crowd to inspect for the Devil's marks.

Another test, often shown in medieval woodcuts, involved dunking - or worse, throwing - women into a pond or well. If they floated , it was thought that they had been rejected by the water of baptism and thus were witches. If they sunk, it indicated that they were innocent. Of course, this could also involve drowning, but at least they were innocent and their soul was saved.

While witch-hunts are thought of as a medieval phenomenon, the height of the atrocities actually occurred between the 15th and 18th centuries. In fact, it was not until 1320 that the Church officially declared witchcraft as a heresy.

One of the most famous women to be condemned to death for witchcraft was
Joan of Arc; in 1431, Joan of Arc, who was continually accused of being a witch because of her ability to hear voices speaking to her, was burned at the stake. By 1486 however, the witch hunt craze had been born with the writing of the Malleus Maleficarum.

While there is no definitive answer as to the number of people tried for witchcraft, it seems safe to say that tens of thousands - perhaps as many as hundreds of thousands were victimized.

United States History: The Witches of Salem

Currently, individuals who practice the earth-based religion of Wicca are called witches. Wiccans practice the philosophy of harming none and believe in the karmic principles of universal balance. Additionally, Wiccans believe in the inherent right to have free will.

Witchcraft increased in popularity around the time that witches like Gerald Gardner and Doreen Valiente began writing about pagan practices and principles in the 1950’s. At last count, there were over 250,000 Wiccans globally and the number increases each year. Further, such individuals claim their origins as being that of a pre-Christian origin and view the burning times as emblematic of ignorance.

Halloween Countdown - 5

2006-10-27T08:17:00.000-05:00

Fun Facts

Halloween traditions of trick-or-treating were brought to America in the 1840s by Irish escaping the Great Potato Famine. The Irish Potato Famine (1845-50) prompted over 700,000 people to immigrate to the Americas. On Halloween, Irish peasants begged the rich for food and played practical jokes on those who refused. To avoid being tricked, the rich handed out cookies, candies, and fruit. A practice that turned into our present day trick-or-treating.

Orange and black became Halloween colors because orange is associated with harvests and black is associated with death.

Did you know - There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange? Hard to believe for such an important color?

The same is true for the colors purple and silver. But, who cares about silver and purple...they are not pumpkin colors!

The biggest pumpkin in the world tipped the scales at a whopping 1,446 pounds. This gigantic gourd was weighed in October 2004 at a pumpkin festival in Port Elgin, Ontario, Canada.

Candy corn, anyone? More than 35 million pounds of candy corn will be produced this year, an estimated $1.93 billion in candy sales. That equates to nearly 9 billion pieces! Enough to circle the moon nearly four times if laid end-to-end.

Tootsie Rolls were the first wrapped penny candy in America.

What's the most popular Halloween candy?

Snickers tops the list for trick-or-treaters.

Halloween is the sweetest holiday of the year, beating out Easter, Valentine's Day, and Christmas. In fact, one quarter of all the candy sold each year is purchased between September 15 and November 10.

Halloween is second only to Christmas in spending. U.S. consumers spend as much as $1.5 billion on costumes each year, and more than $2.5 billion on other Halloween paraphernalia, such as decorations and crafts. More than $100 million is spent online.

Halloween is the 8th largest card-sending occasion.

There are over 28 million Halloween cards sent each year!

And a little Ha-Ha:

You might be a Redneck if
the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.

Halloween Countdown - 6

2006-10-26T10:06:00.000-05:00

Sorry boys and girls ... No Halloween post today.

Instead, I wanted to share this
with all of my Huckleberries out there.

125th Anniversary of the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral

"The Town too Tough to Die," Tombstone was perhaps the most renowned of Arizona's old mining camps. When Ed Schieffelin (SHEF·e·lin) came to Camp Huachuca (hwah·CHEW·kuh) with a party of soldiers and left the fort to prospect, his comrades told him that he'd find his tombstone rather than silver. Thus, in 1877 Schieffelin named his first claim the Tombstone, and rumors of rich strikes made a boomtown of the settlement that adopted this name.

Days of lawlessness and violence, which nearly had then -
President Chester A. Arthur declaring martial law in Tombstone
and sending in military troops to restore order, climaxed with the infamous Earp - Clanton battle, fought near the rear entrance
of the O.K. Corral, on October 26, 1881.

The Gunfight at the O.K. Corral was an event of legendary proportion which has been portrayed in numerous Western films.
The actual event occurred on Wednesday afternoon, October 26, 1881,
in a vacant lot, known as lot 2, in block 17, behind the corral, in Tombstone, Arizona Territory. Some of the fight also occurred in Fremont Street in front of the vacant lot.

Some thirty shots were fired in thirty seconds.
Although only three people were killed during the gunfight,
it became more famous than many other gunfights that resulted in larger numbers of people killed.

Truly a Historical American Landmark, Tombstone is America's best example of our 1880 western heritage, which is well preserved with original 1880's buildings and artifacts featured in numerous museums.

Halloween Countdown - 7

2006-10-25T00:50:00.000-05:00

I admit to more than a

passing interest when it comes to Vampires. Maybe it's the thought of being young and beautiful forever.
Always in a lustful mood.

Being powerful and feared.

Being able to have and take anyone you want ...

I know what you're thinking ... but just shut-up and let me believe that what Hollywood tells me is true and that Vampires really do look like this: *sigh*

Anyway ... Where was I?

Oh yes, in honor of Halloween,

I give you the one who started it all, Vlad Tepes.

Vlad Tepes was born in November or December 1431, in the fortress of Sighisoara, Romania. His father, Vlad Dracul, at that time appointed military governor of Transylvania by the emperor Sigismund, had been inducted into the Order of the Dragon about one year before. The order - which could be compared to the Knights of the Hospital of St. John or even to the Teutonic Order of Knights - was a semimilitary and religious society, originally created in 1387 by the Holy Roman Emperor and his second wife, Barbara Cilli. The main goals of such a secret fraternal order of knights was mainly to protect the interests of Catholicism, and to crusade against the Turks. There are different reasons why this society is so important to us. First, it provides an explanation for the name "Dracula;" "Dracul," in Romanian language, means "Dragon", and the boyars of Romania, who knew of Vlad Tepes' father induction into the Order of the Dragon, decided to call him "Dracul."

"Dracula," a diminutive which means "the son of Dracul," was a surname to be used ultimately by Vlad Tepes. A second major role of this Order as a source of inspiration for Stoker's evil character is the Order's official dress - a black cape over a red garment - to be worn only on Fridays or during the commemoration of Christ's Passion.

In the winter of 1436-1437, Dracul became prince of Wallachia

(one of the three Romanian provinces)

and took up residence at the palace of Tirgoviste, the princely capital. Vlad Tepes followed his father and lived six years at the princely court. In 1442, for political reasons, Dracula and his younger brother Radu were taken hostage by the Sultan Murad II; Dracula was held in Turkey until 1448, while his brother Radu decided to stay there until 1462. This Turkish captivity surely played an important role in Dracula's upbringing; it must be at this period that he adopted a very pessimistic view of life. Indeed, the Turks set him free after informing him of his father's assassination in 1447 - organized by Vladislav II.

He also learned about his older brother's death - Mircea was the eldest legitimate son of Dracul - and how he had been tortured and buried alive by the boyars of Tirgoviste.

At 17 years old, Vlad Tepes Dracula,
supported by a force of Turkish cavalry and a contingent of troops lent to him by pasha Mustafa Hassan, made his first major move toward seizing the Wallachian throne. But another claimant, no other than Vladislav II himself, defeated him only two months later. In order to secure his second and major reign over Wallachia, Dracula had to wait until July of 1456, when he had the satisfaction of killing his mortal enemy and his father's assassin. Vlad then began his longest reign - 6 years - during which he committed many cruelties, and hence established his controversed reputation.

His first major act of revenge was aimed at the boyars of Tirgoviste for the killing of his father and his brother Mircea. On Easter Sunday of what we believe to be 1459, he arrested all the boyar families who had participated to the princely feast. He impaled the older ones on stakes while forcing the others to march from the capital to the town of Poenari. This fifty-mile trek was quite grueling, and those who survived were not permitted to rest until they reached destination. Dracula then ordered them to build him a fortress on the ruins of an older outpost overlooking the Arges river. Many died in the process, and Dracula therefore succeeded in creating a new nobility and obtaining a fortress for future emergencies.
What is left today of the building is identified as Castle Dracula.

Vlad became quite known for his brutal punishment techniques; he
often ordered people to be skinned, boiled, decapitated, blinded, strangled, hanged, burned, roasted, hacked, nailed, buried alive, stabbed, etc. He also liked to cut off noses, ears, sexual organs and limbs. But his favorite method was impalement on stakes,
hence the surname "Tepes" which means "The Impaler" in the Romanian language. Even the Turks referred to him as "Kaziglu Bey," meaning "The Impaler Prince." It is this technique he used in 1457, 1459 and 1460 against Transylvanian merchants who had ignored his trade laws.

There are many anecdotes about the philosophy of Vlad Tepes Dracula. He was for instance particularly known throughout his land for his fierce insistence on honesty and order. Almost any crime, from lying and stealing to killing, could be punished by impalement.
Being so confident in the effectiveness of his law, Dracula placed a golden cup on display in the central square of Tirgoviste. The cup could be used by thirsty travelers, but had to remain on the square. According to the available historic sources, it was never stolen and remained entirely unmolested throughout Vlad's reign.
Dracula was also very concerned that all his subjects work and be productive to the community. He looked upon the poor, vagrants and beggars as thieves. Consequently, he invited all the poor and sick of Wallachia to his princely court in Tirgoviste for a great feast.
After the guests ate and drank, Dracula ordered the hall boarded up and set on fire. No one survived.

In the beginning of 1462, Vlad launched a campaign against the Turks along the Danube river. It was quite risky, the military force of Sultan Mehmed II being by far more powerful than the Wallachian army. However, during the winter of 1462, Vlad was very successful and managed to gain many victories. To punish Dracula, the Sultan decided to launch a full-scale invasion of Wallachia. Of course, his other goal was to transform this land into a Turkish province and he entered Wallachia with an army three times larger than Dracula's. Finding himself without allies, Vlad, forced to retreat towards Tirgoviste, burned his own villages and poisoned the wells along the way, so that the Turkish army would find nothing to eat or drink. Moreover, when the Sultan, exhausted, finally reached the capital city, he was confronted by a most gruesome sight: thousands of stakes held the remaining carcasses of some 20,000 Turkish captives, a horror scene which was ultimately nicknamed the "Forest of the Impaled." This terror tactic deliberately stage-managed by Dracula was definitely successful; the scene had a strong effect on Mehmed's most stout-hearted officers, and the Sultan, tired and hungry, admitted defeat (it is worth mentioning that even Victor Hugo, in his Legende des Siecles, recalls this particular incident).
Nevertheless, following his retreat from Wallachian territory, Mehmed left the next phase of the battle to Vlad's younger brother Radu, the Turkish favorite for the Wallachian throne. At the head of a Turkish army and joined by Vlad's detractors, Radu pursued his brother to Poenari castle on the Arges river.

According to the legend, this is when Dracula's wife, in order to escape Turkish capture, committed suicide by hurling herself from the upper battlements, her body falling down the precipice into the river below - a scene exploited by Francis Ford Coppola's production. Vlad, who was definitely not the kind of man to kill himself, managed to escape the siege of his fortress by using a secret passage into the mountain. Helped by some peasants of the Arefu village, he was able to reach Transylvania where he met the new king of Hungary, Matthias Corvinus. However, instead of providing some help, Matthias arrested Dracula and imprisoned him at the Hungarian capital of Visegrad.
It was not until 1475 that Vlad was again recognized as the prince of Wallachia, enjoying a very short third reign. In fact, he was assassinated toward the end of December 1476.

Halloween Countdown - 8

2006-10-24T11:15:00.000-05:00

Tasty Tuesday Treats For All The Good Boys And Girls

OK, so this has nothing to do with Halloween,

but it is some eye candy for you nonetheless - enjoy!
(yes boys, I have treats for you too ... keep scrolling)

Ladies, meet Raoul Bova
A tasty Italian import.
Italian men are my kryptonite,
and those eyes ...
Aye, Dios mio!
I'm warning you though -
He's all mine!
Mine, mine, mine!

OK, OK ...
I guess I'll share, but only if we can all have some fun together.

And for all you good little boys,

and in keeping with

the Italian theme,
this is the beautiful
Monica Bellucci.

Halloween Countdown - 9

2006-10-23T12:08:00.000-05:00

History of the Jack-o-Lantern

People have been making jack-o-lanterns at Halloween for centuries. The practice originated from an Irish myth about a man nicknamed "Stingy Jack." According to the story, Stingy Jack invited the Devil to have a drink with him. True to his name, Stingy Jack didn't want to pay for his drink, so he convinced the Devil to turn himself into a coin that Jack could use to buy their drinks. Once the Devil did so, Jack decided to keep the money and put it into his pocket next to a silver cross, which prevented the Devil from changing back into his original form. Jack eventually freed the Devil, under the condition that he would not bother Jack for one year and that, should Jack die, he would not claim his soul. The next year, Jack again tricked the Devil into climbing into a tree to pick a piece of fruit. While he was up in the tree, Jack carved a sign of the cross into the tree's bark so that the Devil could not come down until the Devil promised Jack not to bother him for ten more years.

Soon after, Jack died. As the legend goes, God would not allow such an unsavory figure into heaven. The Devil, upset by the trick Jack had played on him and keeping his word not to claim his soul, would not allow Jack into hell. He sent Jack off into the dark night with only a burning coal to light his way. Jack put the coal into a carved out turnip and has been roaming the Earth with it ever since. The Irish began to refer to this ghostly figure as "Jack of the Lantern," and then, simply "Jack O'Lantern."

In Ireland and Scotland, people began to make their own versions of Jack's lanterns by carving scary faces into turnips or potatoes and placing them into windows or near doors to frighten away Stingy Jack and other wandering evil spirits. In England, large beets are used. Immigrants from these countries brought the jack o'lantern tradition with them when they came to the United States. They soon found that pumpkins, a fruit native to America, make perfect jack o'lanterns.

Despite the colorful legends, the term jack-o'-lantern originally meant a night watchman, or man with a lantern, with the earliest known use in the mid-17th century; and later, meaning an ignis fatuus or will-o'-the-wisp. The names "Jacky Lantern" and "Jack the Lantern" persist in the oral tradition in Newfoundland, referringing to the Will o' the wisp type phenomena, rather than the carved pumpkin Jack o' Lantern.

Halloween Countdown - 10

2006-10-22T16:25:00.000-05:00

In honor of Halloween, the most fun and perhaps my favorite holiday, I will be posting little tidbits of history and humor for your reading pleasure. I hope you enjoy.

Ancient Origins

Halloween's origins date back to the ancient Celtic festival of
Samhain
(pronounced sow-in).

The Celts, who lived 2,000 years ago in the area that is now Ireland, the United Kingdom, and northern France, celebrated their new year on November 1st. This day marked the end of summer and the harvest and the beginning of the dark, cold winter, a time of year that was often associated with human death. Celts believed that on the night before the new year, the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead became blurred. On the night of October 31, they celebrated Samhain, when it was believed that the ghosts of the dead returned to earth. In addition to causing trouble and damaging crops, Celts thought that the presence of the otherworldly spirits made it easier for the Druids, or Celtic priests, to make predictions about the future. For a people entirely dependent on the volatile natural world, these prophecies were an important source of comfort and direction during the long, dark winter.

To commemorate the event, Druids built huge sacred bonfires, where the people gathered to burn crops and animals as sacrifices to the Celtic deities.

During the celebration, the Celts wore costumes, typically consisting of animal heads and skins, and attempted to tell each other's fortunes. When the celebration was over, they re-lit their hearth fires, which they had extinguished earlier that evening, from the sacred bonfire to help protect them during the coming winter.

By A.D. 43, Romans had conquered the majority of Celtic territory. In the course of the four hundred years that they ruled the Celtic lands, two festivals of Roman origin were combined with the traditional Celtic celebration of Samhain.

The first was Feralia, a day in late October when the Romans traditionally commemorated the passing of the dead. The second was a day to honor Pomona, the Roman goddess of fruit and trees. The symbol of Pomona is the apple and the incorporation of this celebration into Samhain probably explains the tradition of "bobbing" for apples that is practiced today on Halloween.

By the 800s, the influence of Christianity had spread into Celtic lands. In the seventh century, Pope Boniface IV designated November 1st All Saints' Day, a time to honor saints and martyrs. It is widely believed today that the pope was attempting to replace the Celtic festival of the dead with a related, but church-sanctioned holiday. The celebration was also called All-hallows or All-hallowmas (from Middle English Alholowmesse meaning All Saints' Day) and the night before it, the night of Samhain, began to be called All-hallows Eve and, eventually, Halloween. Even later, in A.D. 1000, the church would make November 2nd All Souls' Day, a day to honor the dead. It was celebrated similarly to Samhain, with big bonfires, parades, and dressing up in costumes as saints, angels, and devils. Together, the three celebrations, the eve of All Saints', All Saints', and All Souls', were called Hallowmas.

Dream With Me

2006-10-16T00:07:00.000-05:00

What if I told you that I knew you
From a far away dream

If I told you to kiss me
Would your lips part and invite me

As you close your eyes
Would you be able to hear the beat of my heart

The quickening of my breath
The heat of my skin

If I told you to touch me
Would your fingers trace the curves of my body

What if I told you that I longed to hold you
Wrap my arms and legs around you

Would you lift me into your arms
And carry me around

Embrace and inhale
The essence of my desire

Come
Dream with me

It's Happened ...

2006-10-11T10:14:00.000-05:00

I've been tagged by a Madman Dreamer

Would you bungee jump?
Uh, bungee jump - no. Skydive - yes!

If you could do anything in the world for a living what would it be?
I'd be a travel authority for PBS like Rick Steves, only I'd be way more fun to watch because I'm cute!

Your favorite fictional animal?
Snoopy. It's all about the happy Snoopy dance!

One person who never fails to make you laugh?
My dad's invisible friend Maynard, who I grew up with.

When you were 12 years old
what did you want to be when you grew up?

What do you mean when I grow up?
Is Wonder Woman not an option?

What is the first thing that you do when you wake up in the morning?
Take off my undies (the only thing that I wear to bed), and wait for you to join me in the shower.

Have you ever gone to therapy?
Does beating the ever loving shit out of someone count as therapy?

If you could have one super power what would it be?
You mean besides my powers of super seduction?
Hmmm ... I'd have to say teleportation. That way I can go and visit my favorite Cabezon, friends and my favorite freak when the urge arises. And of course I would on occasion use my powers for good.

Your favorite cartoon character?
Betty Boop.
She knew how to work that sex appeal.

Do you go to church?
I use to, but had to stop because I couldn't find any fashionable fire retardant shoes.

What is your best childhood memory?
The first time that I saw a wild dolphin jump into the air while out on a family deep sea fishing vacation.

Do you think that marriage is an outdated ritual?
I think that the ritual of ceremony has become outdated,
but the romantic in me still believes in the beauty of the idea and what it represents.

Do you own a gun?
Yes, several.

Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
Are you complaining about that now? You were the one who told me to put on the red latex and pull out those whips!
You big baby, those bruises will fade away ...

Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people?
No, and I never will, but I'll whisper in your ear all night long.

What is the first thing that you notice about the opposite sex?
Lips.
Oh so biteable, kissable, suckable lips.

What is your biggest mistake?
Mistakes are just lessons we learn -
My life is still a work in progress ...

Say something totally random about yourself.
I love full embrace body hugs and
I've died twice.

Has anyone ever said that you looked like a celebrity?
No. I'm a one of a kind original masterpiece.

What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you?
Sent me 21 bouquets of flowers to celebrate my milestone birthday.

Do you actually read these when other people fill them out?
Only if I find you interesting.

Catalog Surfing

2006-10-06T11:08:00.000-05:00

I love looking through catalogs.
What can I say? I'm a girl, I like to shop ...

If you've paid attention here then you know that I just love Spiegel. Well, among other catalogs that I think are fun to browse through are Brookstone and The Sharper Image. Who doesn't love gadgets?!

Lots of cool looking shit that you get all excited about for a day or so before it starts collecting dust somewhere on a random shelf.

Anyway, the reason for my inane rambling ...
I came across these exercise machines and thought they perhaps belonged in a different type of catalog

(you know the ones that you get that come wrapped in discreet brown paper).

WooHoo...Ride'Em Cowboy!
Ladies, all this needs to perfect your riding skillz and impress your man is an extra attachment (or two, ouch).

It's not just me right?

That "exercise" position looks more like an

open invitation to jump on in ...

And to top it all off,

it's called The Love Handler.

Trinidad

2006-10-03T08:11:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Grandma
I miss you.

Grandparents are special people with wisdom and pride.
They are always offering love and kindness

and are always there to guide.
They often make you feel so confident and strong.
Their arms are always open, no matter what you did wrong.
They try to help out in every way that they can.
They love all their grandchildren the same

whether you're a child, woman, or man.
They are always there to listen and to lend a helping hand.
They show you respect and they try to understand.
They give their love, devotion, and so much more, that's easy to see.
Grandparents, what perfect examples

of the kind of person that we should be!

A personal observation:

It's 12:15 p.m.

I see via my counter that

Trinidad and Tobago

Made a 1st time visit today.

It may be a random coincidence to you

But for me, it has an entirely different meaning.

My grandmother's name was Trinidad.