Sunday, September 23
I'm A Thief

I stole this from SamuraiFrog who stole it from Byzantium's Shores who doesn't know why questions 8, 15, 34, 39, 40, 41, and 49 are missing.

1. You have $5 and need to buy snacks at a gas station. What do you buy?
Chips of some kind, some chocolate to balance out the salt from the chips, and because I’m health conscious, a diet Dr. Pepper to wash it down with.

2. If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you want to be?
A dolphin. They’re beautiful, they’re graceful, and other than human beings, they’re the only other mammal who have sex for recreational purposes.
3. Who's your favorite redhead?
I have no freaking idea.

4. What do you order when you're at IHOP?
I love the Country Omelet (no onions), but my favorite are those Stuffed Crepes that they have about once a year. An omelet wrapped in a crepe covered in cheese and sour cream, yum. Damn it. Now I want one.

5. Last book you read?
I’m re-reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I forgot how wonderfully detailed the books were.

6. Describe your favorite pair of underwear.
Boy shorts. They’re comfortable and sexy.
7. Describe the last time you were injured.
I’m accident prone these days. Just yesterday while I was at the store, I somehow managed to jab my thumb into an end cap display that bent my nail from the middle of my nail bed. Hurt like a mo’fo, but, and this is the important part, I didn’t break my nail.

9. Rock concert or symphony?
Depends on my mood I guess. Could it be a rock symphony concert?

10. What is the wallpaper of your mobile phone?
View of a sunset from a bridge.

11. Favorite drink?
Can’t say that I have one. I rarely drunk, I mean drink.

12. What type of top/tee shirt are you wearing?
A pink striped polo.

13. If you could only use one form of transportation for the rest of your life what would it be?
Oh I can think of a lot of cars that I would love to have one day, but seeing as how this would be my only option for life, I’d have to go with a helicopter. You can land them just about anywhere and I wouldn’t be limited by those pesky roads.

14. Most recent movie you've watched at the movies?
Ocean’s Thirteen

16. What's your favorite kind of cake?
Oh man, that’s an unfair question. So many. A simple all time favorite of mine would be a strawberry cake with cream cheese frosting.

17. What did you have for dinner last night?
I had a gordita stuffed with ground meat, sour cream, lettuce, avocado and queso fresco with beans on the side from Los Jaliscienses. So good.

18. Look to your right what do you see?
My baby, my German Shepherd. She’s taking a nap.

19. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
I don’t have any shoes with laces on them right now, not even my tennis shoes.

20. Favorite toy as a child?
I can’t recall any specific toy, but I do remember that I loved playing in my faux kitchen. It had a working refrigerator that I would keep my food in. It even dispensed ice and water! I would give everyone water from there. I thought it was so cool.

21. Do you buy your own food?
Of course. I’m very picky.

22. Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
Doesn’t everyone? Good or bad, we all do it some point. We really shouldn’t, but it’s just part of our human nature to talk about other people.

23. When's the last time you had a sour gummy worm?
Never. I don’t really like sour candy cause, isn’t candy supposed to be uh, sweet?!

24. What's your favorite fruit?
I love cold crisp apples.

25. Do you have a picture of yourself doing a cartwheel?
Yes, I actually do. It was from high school. Of course I was a cheerleader at the time.

26. Have you ever eaten snow?
Does melted snow count? My dad and I went mountain hiking in Colorado on a family vacation and came across a small cave. It had a stream running through it. It was really beautiful.

27. What color are your bedsheets?
A mixture of purples.

28. What's your mom's favorite flower?
I have no idea. She has a flower garden full of just about everything. She loves all flowers in general.

29. Do you listen to classical music?
Of course! Don’t you? Classical music has a way of finding your soul.

30. Do you have a "wacky noodle"?
What the freak is a “wacky noodle”? If it does neat tricks, then I just might have to order one… just so long as it comes in that discreet plain brown paper packaging. Heh.

31. Do you watch Spongebob?
Nope, never have. I used to work with a guy who was a total spaz that we nicknamed Spongebob square-hair. Does that count? He did provide lots of comic relief for us at work. (This is a prime example of #22)

32. Last food you ate?
I made some breakfast quesadillas this morning that were awesome!

33. Do people consider you intelligent?
How dare you question my intellect! I have had some of the finest edumacation that this country has to offer!

35. Is your away message on?
No. If I can’t or don’t want to talk to you, I’ll tell you.

36. Have you ever tried gluing your fingers together?
Well, geez, it’s only like a requirement of being a kid!

37. What curse word do you use the most?
I’m pretty foul-mouthed at times. I’d say that I use shit and fuck just about equally.

38. What time is your alarm clock set for?
I use the alarm clock on my cell phone and at the moment it is set for 5:45 a.m.

42. What CD is currently in your CD player?
The Cure’s Mixed Up album.

43. What movie do you know every line to?
Almost every movie that I own. When I was a teenager I used to drive my dad crazy by watching The Breakfast Club every single time it came on cable. He didn’t know why I watched it when I could say the lines along with them.

44. What is your favorite salad dressing?
Can’t say that I have one. I tend to like vinaigrette's more than the heavier cream dressings that are more popular.

45. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
I have tattoos myself, so does that answer your question?

46. Do you sleep in the same bed with your pets?
No, my dog has her own bed. She only jumps into bed with me when there’s a bad storm outside.

47. Do you enjoy giving hugs?
Absolutely! Full on, no space in between body hugs are the best!

48. What part of your name do people mispronounce?
My last name. It’s Spanish, and it has double R’s. No one can ever get the tongue rolling just right.

50. If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name?
What do you mean? Don’t you know who I am?



Friday, September 14
Friday Comics Commentary

It's been two years since we've "seen" Osama
and in true American superficial form, all we can talk about is his dye job...

...shouldn't we be more concerned *cough* U.S. Intelligence *cough* in finding out where this ever elusive (by your definitions) asshole is? Hey, here's a hint: every electronic device sends out a signal. How about trying to track where that signal is coming from, huh?


And in this corner we have a pile of bullshit!
I have to say that that was some clever
non-committal, forced double talk.

Still looks like a bunch of bullshit to me.


Speaking of bullshit...

It appears that brain-dead zombies do in fact exist.
And while they are at the moment non-threatening,
their one goal may prove to be highly disastrous in the end.



Thursday, September 13
If Only...

While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a bottle
on the sand & picked it up.

Suddenly, a female Genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said,
'Master, may I grant you one wish?'

Osama responded, 'You ignorant, unworthy Daughter-of-a-dog!
Don't you know who I am? I don't need any common woman giving me anything.'

The shocked Genie said, 'Please, I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to that bottle forever.'

Osama thought a moment, then grumbled about the impertinence of the woman and said, 'Very well, I want to awaken with three American women in my bed in the morning.
So just do it and be off with you.'

The annoyed Genie said, 'So be it!' and disappeared.

The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton* at his side.

His penis was gone,
his knees were broken,
and he had no health insurance.

*Not that I want her in office, but it's just funny with her as part of this joke.




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