What Is That Infernal Noise?

I have Yahoo! Music videos playing in the background when all of a sudden my ears start to bleed and I have the sudden urge to spew all the contents out of my (empty) stomach.
As I toggle between screens to investigate who is causing my agony, I am confronted with none other than Mr. RedShorts wearing, stomach sucking (in), former Baywatch Lifeguard
David Hasslehoff.

This video is the definition of a pathetic attempt to recapture what was once mediocre fame added with the creepy ick-factor of a now old guy trying to pick up chicks with his once babe-magnet Knight Rider car. Even the girls in the video know he’s just a dirty-old-man, the chorus they sing is: "No thank you Sir." "I know your game."

Why? Why release that here in the U.S.? I’ve heard whispers that you're huge in other countries, like Germany or something (dunno, guessing), but why subject yourself to the ridicule you know is coming from the vicious tinsel-town tarts and us lowly bloggers? I mean, you have a semi-decent job right now with one of the copy-cat talent shows and other forgotten celebrities. Are they not paying you enough money? Was your arm injury, being "removed" for intoxication at the All England Club, getting banned from a British Airways flight and divorce not enough bad publicity for you?


I'm begging you, please do not release any more of your music.
At least not here in the U.S.

Watch the video here at your own risk and for a good laugh -
it makes B-Movie's look high-tech.