Friday Funny

So You Think You Can Dance

*Results Update Below*

Season 3, Week 3

1st couple: Jesus and Sara get Krump
I don’t normally like this style, it seems out of control and overly aggressive to me, but this was actual dancing with dramatic energy and was good. Sara is kickin’ some ass out there, representing a style usually dominated by men.

2nd couple: Cedric and Shauna dance Contemporary.
Even though it was choreographed by Mia Michaels, it was forgettable.

3rd couple: Kameron and Lacey dance the Quick Step.
One of my favorite couples and they don’t disappoint this week. They are so much fun to watch. I love them.

4th couple: Danny and Anya do Hip Hop.
I didn’t expect this routine to be all that great. It wasn’t as bad as I had expected. There were some great moves in there, but they looked a little out of their element. The routine had more of a Jazzy feel to me. I still love them.

5th couple: Dominic and Sabra dance the Rumba.
I’m really starting to like them. Sabra has really started to shine and Dom is just surprising the hell out of me. It was a smooth and sexy rumba.

6th couple: Neil and Lauren dance the Tango.
Last week I said that I wasn’t sure how I felt about them, well… this week, eh, I no like. There’s just something about them that doesn’t mesh.

7th couple: Hok and Jaimie dance Jazz.
This was the standout routine of the week for me. I haven’t really liked Jaimie and thought that the only reason she was still in the competition was because of Hok’s popularity, but shut my mouth cause the girl has got some skillz! She does this amazing Demi Plie that represents the blossoming of a flower… wow. If only she would like stop talking like so much that would be like great. And Hok, I just lub him. This choreography allowed him to show that he does have the technical ability for different dance styles. This dance was perfect.

8th couple: Pasha and Jessi dance the Cha Cha
My poor Pasha. He had to do an improve dance with former dance champion/choreographer Melanie because Jessi had to be taken to the hospital. Pasha was great, as usual, but I have to say that I’m upset because their rehearsals looked amazing and I was looking forward to seeing them dance as they are the other strong couple in this competition.
I hope that Jessi recovers soon.

I said it last week, and I’m saying it again. Cedric will be the male going home this week. Oh, but don't worry about him. It seems that super nice guest judge Debbie Allen is in love with him and has offered (via Nigel's suggestion) a dance scholarship to her studio. If Jessi isn't able to come dance for her life tonight, she will be eliminated from the competition.

*Thursday Night Results Show*
I was afraid something like this was going to happen after Cedric came out of his shell Wednesday night and spoke his mind after realizing that it was very probable he would should be going home on Thursday. It was the first time since competition that he was relaxed. I like Cedric, but he needs more training in different styles. I really don't think he deserves to be in this competition any longer. Two dancers, much better than he have been let go now and all I can think of is please, please don't let him become the Sanjaya of dance.
The judges said goodbye to Jesus and Jessi this week.

My thoughts on:
Week 2
Week 1

A Message for PETA

You are rude, madam. Stop going after people in your usual self-aggrandizing way. You remind me of sheep people who have recently found religion and feel it is their sole duty to convert everyone lest they perish in the flames of hell for all eternity.

PETA (which everyone knows, as my little Ranito pointed out to me, means: People for the Evil Terrorization of Americans) president, Ingrid Newkirk, says in this letter to Michael Moore that: “Although we think that your film could actually help reform America’s sorely inadequate health care system, there’s an elephant in the room, and it is you. With all due respect, no one can help but notice that a weighty health issue is affecting you personally. We’d like to help you fix that. Going vegetarian is an easy and life-saving step that people of all economic backgrounds can take in order to become less reliant on the government’s shoddy healthcare system, and it’s something that you and all Americans can benefit from personally.”


She goes on to say: "Yes, America’s health care system needs to be fixed, but personal responsibility is a big part of why people look and feel as ill as they do."

While personal responsibility is just that, it still does not give you the right to attack a person based on their physical appearance. I think you need to take a revised look at what the word ethical means and apply it to your fellow man.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to use those eternal flames from hell to cook up some nice juicy steaks for me and mine. Feel free to join us ... you know you want it...

Mmm… animal protein.

Ghostbusters

Today’s Monday Movie Moment is brought to you by various scenes from Ghostbusters that I find funny.

Listen!
Do you smell something?

What the hell are you doing?

-Sorry
-Sorry
-I’m sorry.
We thought you were someone else.

Successful test.

I guess so. Uh, I think we better split up

Good idea.

Yeah, we can do more damage that way.

Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full-trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster, and the theory of Atlantis?

If there’s a steady paycheck in it, I’ll believe anything you say.

Hey, Ray. Do you believe in God?

Never met him.

Yeah, well, I do.
And I love Jesus’ style, you know?

This roof cap is made of a magnesium-tungsten alloy.

What are you so involved with there?

These are the blueprints for the structural ironwork in Dana Barrett’s apartment building and they’re very, very strange.

Hey, Ray. Do you remember something in the Bible about the last days when the dead would rise from the grave?

I remember Revelations 7:12.
“And I looked as he opened the sixth seal and behold, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became as black as sackcloth and the moon became as blood.”

“And the seas boiled, and the skies fell.”

-Judgment Day.
-Judgment Day.

Every ancient religion has its own myth about the end of the world.

Myth!
Ray, has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason we’ve been so busy lately is because the dead have been rising from the grave.

How about a little music?

The Ghostbusters are here, Mr. Mayor.

Ghostbusters. Okay, the Ghostbusters.

Hey, where’s this Peck?

I am Walter Peck, sir, and I’m prepared to make a full report.
These men are consummate snowball artists.
They use sense and nerve gases to induce hallucinations.
People think they’re seeing ghosts.
And they call these bozos who conveniently show up to deal with the problem with a fake, electronic light show.

Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by Dickless here.

They caused an explosion.

Is this true?

Yes, it’s true.
This man has no dick.

It’s a girl.

It’s Gozer.

I thought Gozer was a man.

It’s whatever it wants to be.

Well whatever it is, it’s got to get by us.

Right.

Go get her, Ray!

Gozer the Gozerian?
Good evening.
As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of New York I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension.

That ought to do it. Thanks very much, Ray.

Are you a god?

No.

Then… die!
…..
…..
…..

Ray, when someone asks you if you’re a god you say, “Yes!”

All right.
This chick is toast!

Sympathy

Stranger than your sympathy
This is my apology
I'm killing myself from the inside out
And all my fears have pushed you out

I wish for things that I don't need
(all I wanted)
And what I chase won't set me free
(all I wanted)
And I get scared but I'm not crawling on my knees

Oh, yeah everything's all wrong, yeah
Everything's all wrong, yeah
Where the hell did I think I was?

Stranger than your sympathy
I take these things, so I dont feel
I'm killing myself from the inside out
And now my head's been filled with doubt

It's hard to lead the life you choose
(all I wanted)
When all your luck's run out on you
(all I wanted)
You can't see when all your dreams are coming true

Oh, yeah
It's easy to forget, yeah
When you choke on the regrets, yeah
Who the hell did I think I was?

Stranger than your sympathy
All these thoughts you stole from me
I'm not sure where I belong
Nowhere's home and I'm all wrong

And I wasn't all the things
I tried to make you believe I was
And I wouldnt be the one to kneel
Before the dreams I wanted
And all the talk and all the lies
Were all the empty things disguised as me

Mmm, yeah
Stranger than your sympathy
Stranger than your sympathy
Mmm hmmm mmm

-- Goo Goo Dolls

Happy Birthday

Cynthia Ann Stephanie Lauper

June 22, 1953

I didn't fully realize just how much I love Cyndi Lauper until someone I love asked me what my favorite song was. I, not being one who generally thinks about these types of things, actually thought about it. I was torn between Time After Time and True Colors. Every time I hear those songs, it's like listening to them for the first time. She has such beauty and depth to her voice and I am grateful that she has shared it with us.

Happy Birthday Cyndi!

Friday Funny

So You Think You Can Dance

Season 3, Week 2

1st couple: Neil and Lauren danced Hip Hop.
They are both good technical dancers, but I’m not sure how I feel about Lauren yet. I think she’s holding back. I do like Neil more this week than I did last week. He had some awesome acrobatic moves.

2nd couple: Pasha and Jessi dance a Jazz piece.
It was an African/Modern/Contemporary number choreographed by Tyce Diorio and I loved it! Pasha surprised me with the fluidity of his movements and Jessie is just an amazing dancer.

3rd couple: Hok and Jaimie danced the Samba.
It was choreographed by Jean Marc Genereux, who makes me laugh every time I see him because my mom, last season, described him as a gay Joe Pesci. A young, gay Joe Pesci.
I was already cringing just thinking about Hok and Latin dancing, but was pleasantly surprised that my boy can move his hips. The technical aspect of the Samba wasn’t there, but the performance aspect of it was wonderfully entertaining and I think Hok will be safe for another week. Poor Jamie, Hok is so popular from his previous auditions and has a large following (me included) that she gets a little overlooked. It’s a good thing that she’s busting out in other places.

4th couple: Dominic and Sabra.
I did not particularly enjoy their Disco routine from last week, but I fell in love with their contemporary dance this week. Who knew that a cocky B-boy could open up his horizons and connect emotionally with a piece like this?

5th couple: Cedric and Faina dance the Fox Trot.
Individually they are great in their styles, but as partners, they suck.
I think they are going to find themselves in the bottom three couples again and I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the last week for one or both of them.

6th couple: Kameron and Lacey do Broadway

They are one of my favorite couples and I love them again this week. They danced to All That Jazz from Chicago and had fun while doing it. It also helped that Lacey looked hot in her shorts and garters.

7th couple: Danny and Anya dance the Viennese Waltz

I fell in love with Anya during her auditions and continue to fall in love with her. This waltz with Danny shows how great they are as partners. They are so beautiful together and they are my favorite couple on the show. Nigel said it best when he said: “For all the people who know absolutely nothing about dancing, they will have watched that and said how beautiful.”

8th couple: Jimmy and Shauna dance Hip Hop
The choreography was good, it was a mix of hip hop and stepping. In the end, it just didn’t work for me. The stepping seemed to be forced and in slow motion. It may have been the red lighting they used for those moves, but I just didn’t like it that much.

9th couple: Jesus and Sara and the Paso Doble
The movement and emotions were there. BUT the music was absolutely, completely, horrendously wrong! The Paso Doble is a traditional Spanish dance that portrays the relationship between a Matador and a bull and should never, ever, for any reason be danced to a bonus remix of Queen’s We Will Rock You.
I think gay Joe Pesci screwed them on their music selection this week, but hopefully it won’t affect the voting too much.

*Update*
Jimmy and Faina were voted off this week.
I'm actually a little pissed about the judges decision in keeping Cedric. I was certain that he would be the male dancer to go this week. At least Nigel made a very direct point of telling Cedric that if he screwed up next week, uniqueness or not, he would not be saved.
I'm going to go ahead and say that Cedric will be gone next week along with Shauna or Jaimie, but who knows... just my opinion.

My thoughts on week 1

I'm Rated R. Who Knew?

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

hell(5x) ass(3x) fuckin(2x) crap(1x)

I took this quiz over at SamuraiFrog's blog and am in shock that I have an R rating! What the fuck, man?! Oh, well. I guess this means I'm a bad girl.

Movie Moment Monday

Todays movie moment is brought to you by:

Morgan:
Would you look at all those stars?
I mean, you look up, and you think God made all of that…
but still remembered to make a little speck like me.
Kind of flattering, really.
Wyatt, do you believe in God?
No, come on, really. Do you?

Wyatt:
Yeah, maybe.
Hell, I don’t know.

Morgan:
Well what do you think happens when you die?

Wyatt:
Something. Nothing.
Hell, I don’t know.

Morgan:
Well, I read this book—
a book on spiritualism.

Virgil:
Oh, God.
Here he goes again.

Morgan:
Said that a lot of people, when they die they see this light—
like in a tunnel.

Wyatt:
Yeah?

Morgan:
They say it’s the light leading you to heaven.

Wyatt:
Really?
Well what about Hell?
They got a sign there or what?

Morgan:
Hey, Wyatt, god damn it.
I’m serious.

Friday Funny

As the title implies (suggests, whatever), this is going to be a weekly feature. Don't think that I came up with this little clever waste of blog space all my own, no. I stole it (shh, don't tell) from SamuraiFrog and his Monday Funny feature on his very eclectic, very entertaining, and thought-provoking Electronic Cerebrectomy blog. And if that doesn't sound interesting enough for you, he also posts tons of spank-worthy photos for your viewing pleasure (if that's your thing).

Happy Flag Day

I am the Flag
by Ruth Apperson Rous

• I am the flag of the United States of America.



• I was born on June 14, 1777, in Philadelphia.



• There the Continental Congress adopted my stars and stripes as the national flag.



• My thirteen stripes alternating red and white, with a union of thirteen white stars in a field of blue, represented a new constellation, a new nation dedicated to the personal and religious liberty of mankind.



• Today fifty stars signal from my union, one for each of the fifty sovereign states in the greatest constitutional republic the world has ever known.



• My colors symbolize the patriotic ideals and spiritual qualities of the citizens of my country.



• My red stripes proclaim the fearless courage and integrity of American men and boys and the self-sacrifice and devotion of American mothers and daughters.



• My white stripes stand for liberty and equality for all.



• My blue is the blue of heaven, loyalty, and faith.



• I represent these eternal principles: liberty, justice, and humanity.



• I embody American freedom: freedom of speech, religion, assembly, the press, and the sanctity of the home.



• I typify that indomitable spirit of determination brought to my land by Christopher Columbus and by all my forefathers - the Pilgrims, Puritans, settlers at James town and Plymouth.



• I am as old as my nation.
  I am a living symbol of my nation's law: the Constitution of the United States and the Bill of Rights.



• I voice Abraham Lincoln's philosophy: "A government of the people, by the people,for the people."



• I stand guard over my nation's schools, the seedbed of good citizenship and true patriotism.



• I am displayed in every schoolroom throughout my nation; every schoolyard has a flag pole for my display.



• Daily thousands upon thousands of boys and girls pledge their allegiance to me and my country.



• I have my own law—Public Law 829, "The Flag Code" - which definitely states my correct use and display for all occasions and situations.



• I have my special day, Flag Day. June 14 is set aside to honor my birth.



• Americans, I am the sacred emblem of your country. I symbolize your birthright, your heritage of liberty purchased with blood and sorrow.



• I am your title deed of freedom, which is yours to enjoy and hold in trust for posterity.



• If you fail to keep this sacred trust inviolate, if I am nullified and destroyed, you and your children will become slaves to dictators and despots.



• Eternal vigilance is your price of freedom.



• As you see me silhouetted against the peaceful skies of my country, remind yourself that I am the flag of your country, that I stand for what you are - no more, no less.



• Guard me well, lest your freedom perish from the earth.



• Dedicate your lives to those principles for which I stand: "One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."



• I was created in freedom. I made my first appearance in a battle for human liberty.



• God grant that I may spend eternity in my "land of the free and the home of the brave" and that I shall ever be known as "Old Glory," the flag of the United States of America.

So You Think You Can Dance

Season 3, Week 1

Wednesday was the first night of competition for the third season on
So You Think You Can Dance. I started watching this show last season and got hooked. On the first day of competition of the second season, I immediately fell in love with Benji and Donyelle. They had such great chemistry and were so fun to watch.
Benji went on to win the competition.

I love most things having to do with dance. Shows, movies, competition, participation… but I am not a fan of Dancing With The Stars. I just can not bring myself to watch it. Dancing is not a career choice for those so-called stars; it is merely another attempt to extend the extinguishing limelight of their mediocre pseudo fame.

As of last night, my favorites are:

Anya, she’s sexy and entertaining. She’s partnered with Danny, who is the adopted brother of Travis from last season.
They make a hot dance couple.

And Lacey, Benji’s little sister. She’s a combination of her brother and her cousin Heidi, also from last season. I’m not sure if that’s going to work for or against her yet. But damn(!) she was great last night with this amazing contemporary piece that Mia Michaels choreographed. Her partner, Kameron, needs more time to show his talent and personality.

My other favorite dancer is Hok. I doubt he’ll make it to the top four, but he is just so adorable. He’s a great hip hop/b-boy/freestyle/street dancer, but I don’t think he has the technical ability to take on other styles of dance. Maybe he’ll surprise us and stick around for a while.

Standout routines:
The Cabaret dance choreographed by Wade Robson and performed by Sara and Jesus was a standout for being unique. The Smooth Waltz danced by Jessi and Pasha was surprisingly elegant. Broadway routines are always fun and energetic as were Shauna and Jimmy in theirs.

Tonight is the live results show. The bottom three couples, determined by the amount of votes that are made in two hours, have to go before the judges and dance for their chance to stay in the competition.
Get use to me talking about this show (or not), cause this is one of the things that I get geeky about.

*Update*
Ashlee and Ricky are the first ones voted off.

Movie Moment Monday

Today’s movie moment is brought to you by:
Al Pacino and Robert De Niro from Heat.
The ultimate game of cops and robbers

and an underlying, unspoken respect.

How you doing?
What do you say I buy you a cup a coffee?

Yeah, sure. Lets go.

Follow me.



Seven years in Folsom. In the hole for three. McNeil before that.
McNeil as tough as they say?

You looking to become a penologist?

You looking to go back?
You know I chased down some crews. Guys just looking to fuck up, get busted back.
That you?

You must’ve worked some dipshit crews.

I worked all kinds.

You see me doing liquor store holdup with a “Born to Lose” tattoo on my chest?

No, I do not.

Right.
I am never going back.

Then don’t take down scores.

I do what I do best.
I take scores. You do what you do best:
Try to stop guys like me.

So you never wanted a regular type life?

What the fuck is that? The barbecues and ball games?

Yeah.

This regular type life like your life?

My life? No, my life…
No, my life’s a disaster zone
I got a stepdaughter so fucked up…
…because her real father is this large-type asshole.
I got a wife.
We’re passing each other on the down slope of a marriage. My third.
Because I spend all my time chasing guys like you around the block. That’s my life.

Guy told me one time:
“Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.”
Now, if you’re on and me and you got to move when I move…
…how do you expect to keep a marriage?

Well that’s an interesting point.
What are you, a monk?

I have a woman.

What do you tell her?

I tell her I’m a salesman.

So then, if you spot me coming around that corner…
…you just gonna walk out on this woman?
Not say good-bye?

That’s the discipline.

That’s pretty vacant.

Yeah. It is what it is.
It’s that, or we both better go do something else, pal.

I don’t know how to do anything else.

Neither do I.

I don’t much want to either.

Neither do I.

You know, I have this, uh, recurring dream.
I’m sitting at this big banquet table and…
…all the victims of all the murders I ever worked are sitting at this table…
…and they’re staring at me with these black eyeballs…
…because they got eight-ball hemorrhages from the head wounds.
And there they are, these big balloon people…
…because I found them two weeks after they’d been under the bed.
The neighbors reported the smell…
…and there they are…
…all of them just sitting there.

What do they say?

Nothing.

No talk?

They just…
They don’t have anything to say.
We just look at each other.
They look at me…
…and that’s it. That’s the dream.

I have one where I’m drowning.
And I gotta wake myself up and start breathing or I’ll die in my sleep.

You know what that’s about?

Yeah.
Having enough time.

Enough time…
…to do what you want to do.

That’s right.

You doing it now?

No, not yet.

You know, we’re sitting here…
…you and I like a couple of regular fellas.
You do what you do, and I do what I gotta do.
And now that we’ve been face to face…
…if I’m there and I gotta put you away…
…I won’t like it.
But, I’ll tell ya…
…if it’s between you…
…and some poor bastard whose wife you’re gonna turn into a widow…
…brother…
…you are going down.

There’s a flip side to that coin.
What if you do got me boxed in…
…and I gotta put you down?
Because no matter what…
…you will not get in my way.
We’ve been face to face, yeah.
But I will not hesitate.
Not for a second.

Maybe that’s the way it’ll be.
Or…
…who knows?

Or maybe we’ll never see each other again.

Official Language

Movie Moment Monday

This is an attempt for some regularity on my blog.

I was channel surfing on Sunday when I came across a regular broadcast version of Good Will Hunting. Since it is one of my favorite movies, I decided to watch it - on DVD of course, because who in the hell can watch a movie with commercial interruptions? There are other great scenes in this movie, but the one that follows easily applies to many of the things that piss me off about our current administration.
Feel free to act it out or at least, read it with a South Boston accent.

So why do you think I should work for the National Security Agency?

Well, you'd be working on the cutting edge. You'd be exposed to the kind of technology you wouldn't see anywhere else, because we've classified it.
Superstring theory, chaos math, advanced algorithms.

Code breaking.

Well, that's one aspect of what we do.

Oh, come on. I mean, that is what you do. You guys handle 80% of the intelligence workload. You're seven times the size of the CIA.

We don't like to brag about that, Will, but you're exactly right.
So the way I see it, the question isn't: "Why should you work for the NSA?" The question is: "Why shouldn't you?"

Why shouldn't I work for the NSA?
That's a tough one, but I'll take a shot.
Say I'm workin' at the NSA and somebody puts a code on my desk. Something no one else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself because I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. And once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels are hidin'. Fifteen hundred people that I never met, never had no problem with, get killed.
Now the politicians are saying, "Oh, send in the Marines to secure the area," 'cause they don't give a shit. It wasn't their kid over there getting shot, just like it wasn't them when their number got called 'cause they were off pulling a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southie over there takin' shrapnel in the ass. He comes back to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from, and the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job 'cause he'll work for 15 cents a day and no bathroom breaks.
Meanwhile, he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so that we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And of course, the oil companies used a skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them, but it ain't helpin' my buddy at 2.50 a gallon.
They're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, of course. Maybe they even took the liberty to hire an alcoholic skipper, who likes to drink martinis and fuckin' play slalom with the icebergs. It ain't too long till he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic.
So now my buddy's out of work, he can't afford to drive, so he's walkin' to the fuckin' job interviews which sucks because the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile, he's starvin', 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat, the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State.
So what do I think?
I'm holding out for something better.
I figure, fuck it. While I'm at it, why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard?
I can be elected president.