Friday, August 31
Friday, August 24
Monday, August 20
The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Governmentium (Gv).
Governmentium has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons,
giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert;
however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to over four days to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's Mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium,
an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Governmentium has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons,
giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert;
however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to over four days to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's Mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium,
an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Friday, August 17
Four jobs I've had or currently have in my life:
1. First job that I ever had was working at Wal-Mart. Despite the horrible reputation that they now have as employers, I had fun. It was my high school job and by the end, a lot of my friends were working there with me.
2. I've worked for AT&T. Boring. It was a call center customer service job.
3. American Express. It was sort of fun. I worked in the Membership Rewards program and got to talk to lots of celebrities. It made me laugh to think that they would even care about getting free goodies.
4. My current job is exciting and frustrating, but if I told you anymore about it, I might be ordered to kill you... heh, heh.
Four countries I have been to:
1. Does Mexico count? The border is non-existent at this point.
2. I've been to Spain. Absolutely beautiful.
3. I've been to France.
4. And Iraq.
Four places I'd rather be right now:
1. Relocated to my office in Chicago.
2. Relaxing anywhere with my Corazon.
3. Manhattan
4. A private beach.
Four foods I like to eat:
1. Frozen Red Grapes. Try it.
2. Sour Cream Chicken Enchiladas.
3. Tilapia,. It's fish (in case you didn't know).
4. Cereal. Almost any kind. Even as a snack without any milk.
Four personal heroes, past or present:
1. Alexandre Dumas. Historically accurate or not, his books turned me onto reading at a very young age.
2. William Shakespeare. How can you not love a functioning addict who so elegantly and disturbingly penned his chaotic thoughts?
3. Galileo Galilei. His desire to improve upon Lipperhey's optical instrument is what allowed us to see beyond our own reach.
4. My grandmother. I would not be the person I am today without her.
Four books you've just read or are currently reading.
I haven't had as much free time to read lately and I am very sad about that because I do love getting involved in a good book. I recently cleaned out my closet, getting rid of things that I no longer use and came across some books that I decided to re-read while going to bed.
1. Angels and Demons by Dan Brown
2. The Night Crew by John Sandford
3. Mortal Prey by John Sandford
4. Fiasco by Thomas E. Ricks - New book that I just started.
*New Question* Riddle me this:
If you could spend one day with POTUS, what would you do?
1. Me, personally, I'd knock that little shit-grinning idiot the fuck out!
2. I'd duct-tape him and his mouth to a chair.
3. Happily sign his name to all of the Bills he refuses to acknowledge.
4. Shave his head and make him spend one week in Iraq.
Due to rule changing somewhere along the line, here's where you are suppose to add your own new question.
Tag, you're it!
1. BDS
2. NDM
3. Trisha
4. Tumuli
Thursday, August 16
January 8, 1935 - August 16, 1977
Tuesday, August 14
So You Think You Can Dance
Season 3, Week 8
Results Show
These are the finalists. Tomorrows votes will decide who becomes America's favorite dancer. I have no clue as to who will win. Each of them deserves it. I just can't choose.
They are all great dancers who have proven that they can dance.
Good luck Lacey, Sabra, Danny and Neil!
Season 3, Week 8
Results Show
They are all great dancers who have proven that they can dance.
Good luck Lacey, Sabra, Danny and Neil!
Bye-bye for now Pasha.
*sigh*
Monday, August 13
Today's Monday Movie Moment is brought to you by:
Did you ever get the feeling that everything in America is completely fucked up? You know that feeling that the whole country is like one inch away from saying 'That's it, forget it!'
Think about it. Everything's polluted.
The environment, the government, the schools you name it.
Thank whatever Gods may be that summer in Texas was delayed a couple of months due to the insane amounts of rain that unfortunately flooded many areas. The down side(other than the flooding) to all of that cool(er) weather is that summer has finally reared it's ugly head and has come back this week with a vengeance to make up for some lost time.
The following can be true of Anywhere, USA, but damn(!), it's especially funny in Texas because it's true.
YOU KNOW IT's SUMMER IN TEXAS WHEN. . . .
The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
The trees are whistling for the dogs.
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hot water comes out of both taps.
You can make sun tea instantly.
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron!
The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
You discover that it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 am.
Your greatest fear in an accident is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
Ah . . . what a wonderful place to call home.
Try to stay cool!
The following can be true of Anywhere, USA, but damn(!), it's especially funny in Texas because it's true.
YOU KNOW IT's SUMMER IN TEXAS WHEN. . . .
The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
The trees are whistling for the dogs.
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hot water comes out of both taps.
You can make sun tea instantly.
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron!
The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
You discover that it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 am.
Your greatest fear in an accident is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
Ah . . . what a wonderful place to call home.
Try to stay cool!
I know, I know...
cHEEzy!
But at least I made you smile.
Thursday, August 9
So You Think You Can Dance
Season 3, Week 8
I don't know who kicked who in the ass, but everyone has stepped up their game this week. I loved all six dances last night, even the Disco, which most of the time is pretty cheesy and cornball for my liking. So thank you, choreographers, for making the dancers come up to your level of talent at last.
Each of the three couples performed two dances and then each dancer performed a solo to determine who will make it into the final four.
I know that I want Lacey, Sabra and Pasha in the final show, but I'm completely torn between Danny and Neil (argh!). I've loved Danny from day one. He's beautiful, elegant, graceful and masculine all at the same time, but Neil has come such a long way. He's surprised me the last few weeks. He's the most improved dancer on the show.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy these dances as much as I did:
Lacey and Pasha - Hip Hop and Smooth Waltz
Lacey as a mannequin - AWESOME! And how cute is Pasha as a geeky Hip-Hopper?
Their Smooth Waltz was truly beautiful, but I'm just posting my favorite dances.
Lauren and Danny - Contemporary and Disco
Witness power and speed done with grace, and witness yet again the brilliance of Mia Michaels' choreography.
Sabra and Neil - Jazz and Paso Doble
Power meeting a la 1980's - Yeah, I know, I thought the same thing, but just watch it. The moves, the music - too cool!
There will be no results show tonight, it has been moved to Monday in true television suspense form. So until then - dance like no one is watching!
Monday, August 6
Today's Monday Movie Moment is brought to you by:
Back off or I'll throw it where you can't follow.
Take it easy, that's sixty gigs of my life.
Even better.
Okay -- okay --
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
I'm trying to enjoy my party. Wait, that's wrong. According to you, I'm trying to conform.
Could've fooled me.
What does that mean?
Forget --
No, I'm not gonna forget it.
You wanna blend in with that crowd, fine, then stop looking up and trying to get a rise outta me.
So you were watching me. Question is for how long? Just tonight? Or maybe a week? Two weeks? Since I moved in?
And the whole "my-neighbor's-the-killer" thing. Great cover --
It's not a cover --
So what is it, Kale? Huh? What else have you seen?
What else have I seen?
Yeah. What else?
Okay -- I've seen how you always pull your Kleenex from the box in groups of three. Not two, not four, always three. I've seen you're the only one in the world who eats pizza-flavored Pringles. And you never stuff the chips in, you savor each one by dividing it into four precise bites. I didn't know that was even possible. You're also the first girl I've ever seen who spends more time on her roof than in her own house. And what do you do out there? You don't talk on the phone, you don't paint your nails, you read books. Now one would think with the whole numbers thing you've got going on that you'd put them on your shelf alphabetically, but you don't. Your system's much more perfect. The ones you like go on the bottom, the ones you love go in the middle, and the ones you need, the ones you keep going back to... well they go straight to the top next to the dream encyclopedia. You know what all this tells me? You know how things should be. The world according to Ashley. And guess what? It's a very entertaining and beautiful thing. Even when it takes a hit. When you end up in a place like this... when your parents dump their baggage on you, or just... when it seems like those curve balls are never gonna stop -- It sucks, but just so you know -- I get it.
But I've also seen those designer window shades of yours, and guess what? They always go up the next day -- no matter what. And even if no one else has, I've noticed that. And I ain't sorry. The only thing I'll even consider apologizing for is... not dropping the binoculars and telling you this a lot sooner.
That was either the creepiest... or the sweetest thing I've ever heard.
Sunday, August 5
Thursday, August 2
